Poll-How do you really feel about Purim

little neshamala

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:28 pm

I voted I love it, but to be clear I dont think its my chance to shine. I dont do anything special, no themes, etc.
But I do love it.
We plan it so it should be low stress (we dont deliver to morahs and Rebbeim on purim itself, and we start extra early so we are home by noon ish to just chill and have fun)

Busybee5

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:29 pm

I really don't like the stressful parts, like getting to rebbeim and teachers in the right time slots, and getting to all the kids friends. And and giving back to all their friends after we get home and find some more on our doorstep. I think I'm staying home this year! Then I'll go out later in the afternoon, and for the seuda (it's in my sister in law's house)

amother

Skyblue

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:36 pm

I didn't vote because honestly, I love it, its one of my favorite days, but it's also soooo stressful. I have to literally remind myself multiple times that day to stay calm and it's all about the kids having a good time, not about everything being perfect. I'm pretty type A and all the rushing and traffic and mess is a lot for me but I'm an adult and I try to overcome this to give my kids the best memories of purim.
Like we cut down to one teacher per kid. Was impossible to be at diff ends of town at the same time. Everyone else gets in school. Kids are young and their friends we don't go to. Either comes to us or we Meet up somewhere during the day. And some years we miss an aunt or someone else on the list but I'm working on staying happy and calm.
A happy, calm purim to us all!

amother

Lemon

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:48 pm

I love it!!

the men in my life are not drinkers - literally none of them - so purim for me was pleasantly tipsy men and good cheer.

but I love the costumes!! I love seeing people!! I love the music!!
the vibe (esp in frum neighborhoods) is amazing!!

I do think that if I was an 'open house' with nasty drunk men I would hate it tho

amother

IndianRed

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:49 pm

Ive taught myself many tricks and I love Purim.
I don't do themes or creative MM.
We do give to some Rebbeim and teachers on Purim, and some we give before.
We do go out in the crazy traffic and I allow my kids to choose some friends that we go to.
I daven vasikin so I can daven and do megillah early before the hectic ness.
I push nutritious breakfasts and the kids eat way more junk than I allow.
We have a big hectic crazy seuda that some years I do host and some years I just bring some stuff.
My teen boys and husband drink more than I like.
My boys go to their Rebbeim and Roshei Yeshiva and I do worry a bit.

But with all these pieces, I truly try to relax and enjoy the day, enjoy the creativity, the nosh, the happiness.

I was reading the other day how Saddam Hussein surrendered (Gulf War) on Purim and how Stalin died right around Purim. Im davening now that we wake up Purim morning to Sinwars death and so many nissim and the joy tenfold.

MommyM

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:10 pm

I like Purim, but it is a very stressful day. Walking all around our neighborhood, trying to make order of which mm came in and for who. Kids costumes on and off all day.
But BH it's always a fun day for the kids and us. And it's only once a year.

amother

Mimosa

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:15 pm

I enjoy coming up with creative ideas for themes and mm and I love preparing for it but the actual purim day is hard with getting everyone in and out of the car and having enough energy for the kids + all the social aspects.
Its not just going to bubby and meeting all the cousins. its all the traveling and going to BH BH all 4 of the grandparents and teachers and it doesnt end till midnight and then Im exhausted and kids are bombed and we need to get them to bed.. so I enjoy it but im glad its only once a year

Princess23

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Feel free to brag or vent. Anonymous sounding board. We are here for you.

I love it, one of my favorite holidays! What’s there not to like?

giftedmom

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:26 pm

As an introvert it used to be my nightmare after I got married. Over the years dh and I came up with a system to make it easier. I do love brainstorming themes with my kids and coming up with adorable DIY costumes.

Goody2shoes

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:34 pm

I'm someone who loves routine and structure and Purim is anything but that. Somewhere in the middle of the day I get a crazy headache and terribly moody. My husband's off partying or collecting for whichever cause and isn't around much during the day. Streets are too noisy and too packed, seudos are too rowdy. At the end of the day I'm in sensory overload and it's way too much.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:35 pm

I used to love it when I was single, newlywed, and even when I had my my first child. I had so much fun and was so creative.

Fast forward and it got so stressful for me. Trying to get out of the house in time to hear megillah while being torn in a million directions by kids. Trying to send to morahs and Rebbes and each child's friends. And trying to send to family friends, and my personal friends, and neighbors.

Some years my husband had to work and my kids were too young to be quiet for the whole megillah reading and it was so stressful! BH I'm beyond that stage now, but the rest of the stressors remain. Even if I make very simple mm, it still feels like so much!

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:49 pm

We deliver MM two days before Purim and give to neighbors in building only on the day itself.
Nobody in our circles do themes (frankly I fail to understand what's so fascinating with themes)
Personally I prefer a good home baked item on the simplest plastic plate instead of a fancy expensive packing which contains something sweet or whatever. Your fancy packing is nice for a few seconds but it *will* end up in the garbage. Content is primary, packing is totally secondary.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:51 pm

Goody2shoes wrote:

Sensory overload over here too. All windows are closed in my home, I avoid to go out.

amother

Wandflower

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:53 pm

I loved it when I was single but now it makes me feel insecure. My kids all have special needs so we can’t really go anywhere or do anything. We don’t really have friends.

amother

Ultramarine

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 3:03 pm

My kids are grown so no more stress about their costumes and I have totally streamlined mishloach manot so no stress involved in that.
We have a megilla reading in our house , so no pressure to get to one by a certain time.
B"H we have a large extended family with who we make the seuda in a Yeshiva dining room so noone's house gets trashed and we share all the work.

What's not to like?

nursemom1

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 3:10 pm

I love Purim itself, doesn’t make me feel bad or anything, husband doesn’t drink, but I find the prep soooo time consuming and exhausting. The day of Purim is great but the weeks prior are so stressful. I work full time it’s very challenging to get 3verything done in time

DrMom

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 3:15 pm

I enjoy it. I like making costumes and mm. I like the fact that we can drive to visit friends and relatives.

We don't drink, so that aspect is off our radar.

The only part I don't like is it is a jam-packed day so it can be tiring.

amother

Narcissus

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 3:24 pm

I hate purim with a passion. I have social anxiety. We have almost no friends where we live. Every year I get so anxious about what we will do for the seuda. We cant have it alone. Thats just too depressing. So this is on my mind already now. I have no idea what we will do.
And we dont live close to family so thats not an option.