I Dont understand | Imamother

amother

Sat, Sep 06 2008, 9:52 pm

I have heard soooo many stories of kids who go to mosdos. stories that show the kids arent being treated well. and after some of these mothers say something really bad that happened to thier kid there, they still send them there! I just dont understand. I have two questions

1) Why dont mothers check out places they send thier kids to BEFORE they choose where to send them, and make sure the teachers, and situations, is loving, warm, and good

and 2) if mothers find out that the situation is not the best for thier children why would they keep sending thier children???

I have a friend who told me she feels so bad for her baby that her babysitter isnt good. and I just looked at her and wondered why would you keep your babysitter for one extra minute if you know your baby isnt happy??? I mean, ok some people have to work. BUt a child is the most important thing! what if there was a million dollars in front of a driving bus, would someone run to get it, and risk thier lives, because they need the money. of course not! the mother told me that she feels her babysitter would feel bad if she fires her. Hello, what about her baby??? Im sorry but this way of thinking is so wrong and really bothers me.

when my daughter was two and a few months I checked out almost eveyr single playgroup and I only found one out of the many that I would even consider sending my daughter to. And I would talk to parents who send thier kids to these places who said thier kids loved it and they were amazing. meanwhile, what I observed by sitting in these places for ONE day, was horrible! One example is at one playgroup where if the child didnt sit perfectly still they were put in a corner. these were two year olds. another place, the kids had no snack or drink till lnch. the parents had no clue. I dont understand why I am one of the only mothers that checks out places before I send my kids to them. im sorry but that should be the NORM.

this just makes me sad to see... the first 6 years of a childs life are the most important. they are what form the childs way of looking at the world. we have to make sure our children are always in good hands!

BusyBeeMommy

Sat, Sep 06 2008, 10:15 pm

OP, I am sooo with you! The story about the babysitter bugs me too. How could she prioritize the feelings of a babysitter over her own child???? I think ppl are scared to check places out b/c it's not a common thing to do and they feel they will insult the teacher by checking on her. But really that is cowardly. Our children are way more important than a stranger's feelings. My baby will not be going to playgroup this year but probably next and I'd love to know how you did the checking. BH up until now I;ve been able to rely on family that I trust to babysit.

friendly1

Sat, Sep 06 2008, 10:19 pm

Dear Amother,

You are so right. I don't know why so many people do not check out different mosdos and playgroups more thoroughy than they do.

As far as someone actually knowing their babysitter is no good, and not getting rid of her Pronto, well I would think she's an idiot for sure.

Could be some young people are too naive, or too busy to really check out a caretaker. It's also prevalent in care of senior citizens. Some aids I've seen are very "not good" and neglect their charges.

It's pathetic to see. Crying

amother

Sat, Sep 06 2008, 10:25 pm

when I feel the teacher might mind me checking I just remind myself that this is My CHILD. and if G-d forbit my child was sick and the doctor said she was fine I would say no she isnt and demand to be seen again, or switcy docs. same here. this is who my daughter will be with for lots of the day. I need to be 100 percent positive its a good, warm loving atomosphere!!! where the teachers are GOOD and have the skills to teach

flowerpower

Sat, Sep 06 2008, 11:00 pm

I too am so careful where to send. I do thorough research and even when the child is there I am on top of it the whole time. It's my child and I want him to be in the best hands. I don't understand mothers that don't fully look into things and I know that there are many. Is it because of lazyness or relying on others, I just don't know. My friend send her first to a playgroup-naive young mother. She was told to bring 40 pekelach for her birthday because both classes are together a lot. Isn't that a red flag-40 kids in a class?

GAMZu

Sun, Sep 07 2008, 2:37 am

I was about to get a job in a very popular BP day care. Great reputation. OMG. On my "trial" day there:
Kids were crying left and right. I had no idea which kids would be in my group, because no one took time to introduce me to them. Parents were bringing all the kids into one classroom from where they were going to be divided. So instead of tending to "my" kids, I was tending to anyone who was crying.

The teachers didn't know the kids' names. Even though they all had their info pinned onto them, they didn't bother to look and call the kids by their names.

There were over 30 kids in a room and at one point the 2 teachers went to the hallway to shmooze, leaving me with them. Kids were hurting each other right by the teacher's feet and they just continued to talk and laugh, not looking once.

There was one new child that was crying hysterically, and I picked him up to calm him. Eventually I managed, but he didn't want to leave my lap.
When one teacher asked me to help her hand out sandwiches (which she made on the bare desk, no plates) and I tried to put the boy down, he began to cry again. She got upset at me for not helping. Rolling Eyes

Should I choose to help her hand out sandwiches or help a toddler be a little less scared? Hmmm.

It was just so awful. And I didn't get the job, obviously, because they saw how horrified I was at their actions.

Not long after that I met someone I haven't seen in a while. We were shmoozing and it came up that her son is in that daycare. She told me he had a swollen eye when she picked him up, but the teachers said he didn't fall or bump himself anywhere... and since the teachers are so good vigilant, if they say he didn't fall, it means he didn't. Rolling Eyes

Yeah........

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2008, 12:06 pm

thats what I dont get! if her childs eyes are puffy, why would she continue to send her child to that day care?? ior at least pop and see check why her childs eyes are puffy and do something about... or take our her child??? we have to stick up for our kids and make sure theya re ok. they cant do it for themselves. thats why its so sad when the adults that are watching them arent good at it! or worse dont like kids

BusyBeeMommy

Sun, Sep 07 2008, 7:12 pm

Gamzu, you just reminded me that one of my friends was a preschool assistant in also a "terrific" supposedly highly professional school. There were a few classes and she worked w/ the "best" teacher that all the mothers wanted. Well, she was in for a surprise. After the 1st month of school, the teacher would show up 1/2 hr. late e/ morning, blaming it on garbage trucks and alternate side parking. So she was alone w/ 20 little kids by herself. Then the teacher used to spend a large portion of the day chatting on her cell phone while my friend pretty much had to run the show. She would take off a genenrous lunch hour and leave my friend behind w/ all of the kids. And, shocking of all, the teacher used to take snacks from some of the kids' lunch bags AND EAT THEM HERSELF!!!!! She tried to do it secretly but soon my friend discovered it and she was appalled!

This teacher was the most sought after though b/c she would send home the most beautiful arts and crafts (that basically she and my friend put tog.) and she was very into taking pictures of every event and putting them in newsletters and bulletin boards. Talk about propoganda!

It's so sad that ppl would take advantage of such a situation where the little kids wouldn;t be able to tell on them.