Naming for a parent

amother

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 8:52 am

(I have to be anon, sorry) I named a name I really didn't care for at the time after someone I cared about and was close to - now I like the name. I named another child names I was really very very upset to "have to" be using, but now it is all good. And I am the type who loves to do my own thing and name cool names...But I will share a different perspective with you - I just did my family tree - It is SO beautiful to look at ten generations of the same names over and over, I can't even tell you.

Chayalle

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 10:15 am

Quote:

also think it depends somewhat on the name. My mother (may she be well until 120) is Masha Bluma Zisel. Now, we live in a chardal / mo community in EY, and we are litvicks through & through. It would be something to discuss with my rav, but I don't see how I coudl use any of those names.

If her name was Sarah, and I just wasn't too fond of Sarah, I'd give the name.

My very good friend Naomi is named after a grandmother Zisel. Naomi means pleasant and sweet - zis in yiddish. Would that name be acceptable in your community? You could give the full name and just call her Naomi.

There's a big difference naming after parents, it's totally different than grandparents or anyone else.

When my baby DD was born, after lots of years of trying, begging Hashem, etc....I'll never forget how my DH was standing there crying, then he turned to me and said that it's my turn to choose a name, what would I like to name her?

I was stunned and told him it wouldn't dawn on me to name any other name than his mothers, who had passed away 2 years earlier. Though it was sweet of him to give me the choice.

Ironically, she's my only child that is called by a nickname. It's just too hard for DH to call her his mother's name, so a form of it has stuck.

RachelEve14

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 10:25 am

OK, I think people are mixing up. I am not the OP, b'h my mother is well (may she be please G/d ad 120). I was just bringing it as an example of a name I might not expect my children or grandchildren to use. My Hebrew name is Eli Fruma Zahava and I don't expect any descendants to have that exact name either Wink

seeker

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 12:34 pm

It's odd that nobody has mentioned so far that it many poskim consider naming after a parent to be part of the mitzvah of kibud av va'em. If your parents are living and you are ashkenaz, then it is kibud av va'em to name after your parent's parent as well, but I believe the ikur mitzvah is to name your own child after your own parent (when relevant).

I will have to double check the facts. I believe I read that in the sefer "L'maan Yaarichun Yamecha"

mamaleh

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 1:37 pm

We are IY"H expecting our second and names are a big discussion. If we have a girl we will prob name after my grandmother, who has no-one named for her yet. (our dd1 was named for my husbands grandmother). If it is a boy we have a prob. My father was niftar a few years ago and in theory I would have named after him except that many years ago, after his father was niftar, he told me that if I ever had a choice of naming a son for him or his father I should name for his father. That's what we always planned to do. When my father was niftar we said we would combine my grandfather's one name with one of my father's (he had two, but I can't stand three names). Now my second grandfather was recently niftar. My dh and I were both very close to him and we are trying to decide if we should use the two grandfather names (they each had one) or stick with our plan as is. My thought is that if I could ask my father he would tell me to use the grandfathers, that's just the way he was. My mother sort of knows about the question and would also be fine either way (remember the second grandfather was her father).
It's a tough question, even when all the names are names that you like. We will probably end up running it by a Rav, mostly because of the Kibbud av question, and also because I once read something about not mixing names from different sides of the family.
I just daven that this should be the hardest thing any of us have to deal with!