Unpopular Opinions

pause

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:25 am

1) Ceramic or stone tile is the worst kind of flooring ever! In the winter, it's cold. It's hard on the feet when standing long. When it gets wet, it is super slippery and, combined with the fact that anything that falls onto it, is more likely to break - is extremely dangerous for people. Any kitchen item that falls onto the floor in a kitchen with a ceramic floor is almost certainly broken including dishes, mugs, plastic blender parts, etc.

2) I believe that most divorces are a result of TWO people creating a dynamic where they cannot tolerate each other. Obviously there are extenuating circumstances, but (and I know this is highly unpopular) I think that usually each person brings out a certain side in the other and if one person is extra committed to take responsibility and change themselves, they can effect change in the relationship as a whole.

3) We need more political parties. I am conservative but I don't agree with the Republican platform. I think a third political party can help balance out the hatred and lack of cooperativeness we currently have.

4) Boys and bachurim need to learn way more practical halacha as part of their seder halimud, not only on their own. Basar b'chalav, hilchos shabbos, etc. They also need to learn how to write and organize their thoughts as is done in girls' schools. It is beautiful to write chiddushim but that's not nearly enough.

glamourmom

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:50 am

Cheiny wrote:

I think they look much stupider on women! I can not believe people fall for this craziness, as Long as they think it’s in they’ll get it no matter how bad or stupid it looks on them.

why do you think a woman wears it only cuz it's in style? maybe they wear it cuz they genuinely think it looks good. I know I like it, and not just cuz it's "in".

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:57 am

glamourmom wrote:

why do you think a woman wears it only cuz it's in style? maybe they wear it cuz they genuinely think it looks good. I know I like it, and not just cuz it's "in".

I think women "tell themselves" it looks good. It's a lack of self confidence and inability to introspection.

dvorak613

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:59 am

1. Drug free birth is the worst. I would rather a c section than drug free (and yes, I've had it both ways).
2. Screens are not the devil. Done properly, movies, shows, and video games can be quite intellectually stimulating and educational. My kids do all of the above and are also avid readers, critical thinkers, and know how to entertain themselves without screens!

Orchid

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 9:59 am

When people post "before" and "after" pictures of themselves after a big diet program, I always like the "before" faces better (although not necessarily the rest of the body). I like a plump face. The "after" faces are always pinched and very wrinkly. Losing weight makes your face look old.

boots

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:07 am

Orchid wrote:

as Catherine Deneuve said...

NovelConcept

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:18 am

More opinions. (Yes, I'm a very opinionated person.)

1. Matte everything looks better, save for tile (and even then, sometimes). That goes for makeup (shiny faces look yucky!), wood, paint...

2. Tznuis issues aside... Don't wear a long sheitel if you don't know how to manage it! They can be glamorous or just make you look like you got into a fight with an animal... and lost.

3. The written word is oxygen. Keep your parties, get-togethers and coffee dates. Just give me a book.

4. Being in a forest, especially a temperate forest, is by far more exciting and lovely than sitting at the beach roasting in the sun.

5. Music is overrated.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:24 am

tf wrote:

I think women "tell themselves" it looks good. It's a lack of self confidence and inability to introspection.

That is so ridiculous. I look great in my Pom Pom hats. My husband loves the way I look. You don’t like them? That’s fine. But don’t judge my self confidence based on the hat I wear.

oneofakind

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:28 am

Agree that matte is great.
Music, when listened to mindfully ( not blaring background music day and night (sometimes at playgroups it is so loud and the kids are talking/playing, I wonder if it isn't already destroying the kids' hearing-whatever the wedding music hadn't destroyed already), is wonderful for soothing and uplifting my mood. My parents should live forever because I already worry how I would manage for a year without music.
Leggings on boys-ridiculous even if they are ballet dancers or acting as Robin Hood.

Ema of 5

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:30 am

sky wrote:

Babies ears should not be pierced. It detracts from their pureness.

Tight leggings on boys are silly.

Little babies in barely there summer clothing are cold when the air conditioning is on.

Inexpensive\ cheap clothing lasts longer then expensive clothing.

Children over 9 should not be matching. Definetly having 5 or more children matching is scary and detracts from individuality. Children should have a say in their clothing and choose to wear a outfit that does not match everyone else.

I agree with all your points except the first.
However, I will say this. I have two girls, ages 9 and 2. My 9 year old speaks her mind very well and I will only buy clothes for her when she is with me. She LOVES matching her little sister. They have two matching winter outfits/dresses, and they have matching shoes and hats. I do think it’s a little odd when a 15 year old is matching a 3 year old, and I would guess that by the time my 9 year old is 11 or 12, she won’t want to match anymore.

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:40 am

glamourmom wrote:

that's unfair. what is wrong with a pompom? why is a bejeweled beetle on your beanie better?

It actually IS unfair. Why shouldn't women have the audacity to wear what they like (obviously within the realms of Torah, but that's not the issue in this thread). Why rely on others opinions?

groovy1224

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:45 am

I think that 'never go to bed angry' is some of the worst marriage advice ever, and I don't understand why I hear it so much.

Sometimes (most of the time) the best solution is the sleep on an argument, gain a little distance, cool down, and then try the conversation again. 99% of arguments are just 2 tired, overworked spouses sniping at each other over small things, and a good rest can do wonders.

Oh and also- I think 90% of amothers who claim to have INSIDER info or PERSONALLY know the family/rabbi/doctor involved in a particular thread are full of it. So easy to lie on the internet, let alone behind amother. You can say whatever you want. And it's a good way to give credence to stupid statements.

boots

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:45 am

Ravenclaw wrote:

boots wrote:

My unpopular opinion is that there is too much separation in most orthodox communities between boys and girls and it is not healthy or natural.

That’s interesting. Can you expand? Am curious.

Boys and girls are seperated from such a young age. The only people of the opposite gender they are exposed to are parents or siblings, not peers. They don't have a chance to see eachother as people, they have minimal first hand exposure to the other gender's way of thinking, doing things, strengths etc. They don't get experience communicating or comprimising with each other till adulthood. I also think some, but not all, of th ssa issues stem from the extreme seperation.

Ema of 5

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:46 am

oakandfig19 wrote:

1) I believe in ghosts (or whatever you want to call it)

2) men *can* control themselves. They do not need to have relations alll the time.

3) on a similar note, we have extremely low standards for men in Jewish communities. They're basically portrayed as babies who constantly want to have s*x

4) tznius and shomer negiah/yichud do not prevent assualt. People who abuse don't care about halacha.

5) Gluten is not healthy for anyone (at least in large quantities)

6) the kollel lifestyle is unsustainable

7) high standards of living in frum communities are completely unsustainable

8) there's nothing wrong with shells

9) anti vaxxers aren't evil murderers.

I agree with everything you wrote, but this is the most important. The rules may make it a little harder, but am a user will abuse, a rapist will rape, no matter what. These things don’t happen only in the right circumstances. If the circumstances aren’t right, they will make them right (for themselves)

Ema of 5

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:55 am

dvorak613 wrote:

1. I am all for epidurals for those who want them, but my labor, delivery, and recovery were so much better with my unmedicated birth.
2. Same with my kids. My kids love playing the “cat in the hat stem game” that I have in my phone, and my 6 year old loves “fill the cup.”

southernbubby

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 11:03 am

eema of 3 wrote:

Darn, I missed it!! What was your opinion?

That women who have abandoned the mitzvah of tznius should wear tznius clothing in situations where it would be disrespectful to others not to dress tznius. It was a 9 page discussion that started with someone else's unpopular opinion that frum simcha sites should not show pictures of engaged couples touching each other.

Obviously it was a trigger for those who had been raised to feel that they were only valued in life for their ability to remain tznius.

here is the thread:https://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=349969