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Finance shaming

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amother

Glitter

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:11 am

amother Springgreen wrote:

Re watches : pateks don't have a logo, or if they do, it is tiny.

(I don't know much about watches or luxury items, just have a close relative w a patek, how do I know? Long story).

True, but a Patek phillipe could cost more than a Rolex!! Lol
I happen to have a beautiful gold watch without a logo that I was given as a kallah. It’s gold and diamonds and valuable but it’s small and not showy at all with no logo.
I love it. I used to wear it only for shabbos but now I wear it everyday

amother

Springgreen

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:12 am

amother Kiwi wrote:

They do, it has the name printed on the face.

Like I said, if they do its tiny. I can't read it glancing at someone's wrist.

Vs. Other watches is more visible.

amother

Olive

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:16 am

amother Kiwi wrote:

So why when my neighbor lost their house, the person to rent out a house out for them on their behalf was a man in the neighborhood who drives an old car lives in a nice but not fancy house dresses yeshivish and not fancy? Why couldn’t all the well dressed ferragamo bmw drivers be the first ones to help out?

You don't know that there wasn't money from the rich ones raised on behalf of them and given to the simple owner.
That's what usually happens you just don't know what's happening beyond the scenes.

Highstrung

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:16 am

pause wrote:

It's really sad that this thread is on page 9, and only one poster brought up the example of tachrichim. Histapkus b'muat and hatzne'ah leches (tznius b'maaseh) are Jewish values that we should all be striving for. Somehow they have disappeared together with our extravagant American galus.

No, a person should NOT spend frivolously or in an ostentatious manner nor post about it here on Imamother. (Even if they're not stealing it from me... what a narrow-minded view!) Spending modestly should be the default of the rich (and of course the poor). Yes, it's a nisayon. Shlomo Hamelech said the nisayon of wealth is harder than the nisayon of poverty.

Someone else wrote that Yiddishkeit isn't communism. I'm sorry, but to a certain extent it is. Hashem gives someone money to be them mezakeh with more mitzvos. A g'vir is actually a shliach from Hashem to distribute His monies to the needy, not to spend it on himself. It says that those who use their money for the right purpose (to give tzedaka) will be blessed with more.

It's sad to read the justifications for extravagant spending. The rationalizations and explanations for how or why it's ok. I'm sorry to say it because it's not PC, but it's just not the Jewish way.

(Ducking for tomatoes Hiding

)

I agree in a way. But people are also supposed to enjoy the gifts HaShem gave them and we are supposed to enjoy Olam Hazeh too, while we are here. The problem is that some people define ostentatious differently. For a jealous person that can’t afford going to FLorida for vacation , they view the people going as ostentatious. No . The people that have the money to go, good for them. The jealous people need to work on themselves.
So so many wealthy people who spend money on themselves to enjoy life , also give huge amounts of tzedaka and are mezakeh with tons and tons of Mitzvos. At least the truly wealthy people that I personally know.

amother

Springgreen

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:21 am

Remember, I don't know anything about luxury anything.

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:24 am

I only read a couple of the posts, but I wanted to say that I don't care what people spend on themselves. Yes it makes it harder for kids when their classmates have so much more than them, but that is the way the world operates and they have to learn that sooner or later.
My problem is when people (especially those who own their own businesses or are in jobs where their paycheck can be vulnerable) who currently earn A LOT of money, but spend like crazy instead of saving wisely. Then they do lose their job or have another catastrophic event where they have to expend an enormous amount of money. Money they easily could have absorbed if they had been careful in the "fat years". Then when the "lean years" come along, they need tzedaka. (Or even worse, the attitude of support people in the way they have become accustomed. Don't become accustomed to it!)
Years ago, when we were paying 3 full tuitions and our income was good (over $100K ) but nothing remotely crazy, we got a phone call from the school about donating because families such as one who used to make $400K and now makes $80K need it. I was thinking, shame on them for not saving up when they could have. We are very frugal so we can live within our income and pay full tuition. I should pay for a spendthrift who has fallen on hard times! And because there is just so much tzedaka to go around, money is going to people like that and then it wont be available for legit cases.

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:29 am

Flip Flops wrote:

Wealthy people are entitled to spend as much money as they want on whatever they wish. It is their money, they earned it, and they are allowed to spend it.
As someone who grew up poor and is still not wealthy, it bothers me not because I am jealous, but because I understand the value of every single dollar.

When you spend $300 on takeout dinner one night, I just think of a family that could have had their entire Shabbos paid for.
When you buy your two year old a $200 dress, I think of the seminary girl who can't afford to buy a dress to wear to her friend's wedding.
When you spend thousands on your flowers for a wedding, I think of the family that can barely buy their new kallah a diamond ring.

It's not jealousy, it's just hard to see precious money being spent on unimportant things when you are privy to the pain of poverty.

Actually, some inherit it and some earn it thru shady means.

amother

Zinnia

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:29 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

Actually, some inherit it and some earn it thru shady means.

And some people are poor because they are irresponsible or lazy. 🙄 this can go both ways

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:31 am

amother Zinnia wrote:

I live in Jackson NJ and all my neighbors are prob making min $300k a year. They are all nursing home administrators or property managers etc
All the wives are SAHM
We pay taxes through the roof.
Just because you know one area doesn’t mean that’s everyone.

Can someone pls explain to me why nursing home administrators make $300K?

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:33 am

amother Orange wrote:

I never see pple bragging about their money on here… if anything it’s scary to admit you spend money on anything or your head gets bitten off. It’s like a dif reality here than the world I live in. And I’m not one of those with much or any financial breathing room.. but I’m not making my own cottage cheese or considering chicken cutlets a luxury item. Sometimes it feels like you are made to feel ashamed if you spend anything above basic basic needs and I don’t think that’s very healthy to be honest.

Bragging is not just, "hey look at me! I make $500K". It's, "I have a tough problem, should I go to Fiji or Cancun? Should I get a rolex or a piaget? Should I get this specialty this or that specialty that?"

mha3484

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:35 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

Can someone pls explain to me why nursing home administrators make $300K?

This is what I do for a living and they dont unless they own a portion of the home they are the admin of.

amother

Cognac

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:39 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

And? They can’t ask for advice? This is where middos need to be worked on. That’s not bragging, it’s on you not to feel this way any time you see someone mention something you can’t afford.

watergirl

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:39 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

Ok, this one is on you. You are reading these posts as bragging. You have to change your view. Change your lens. If you can't, don't open those threads. People asking a question does not = bragging.

amother

Cognac

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:40 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

Can someone pls explain to me why nursing home administrators make $300K?

I was confused about this as well. I thought only the owners of nursing homes are wealthy.

mha3484

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:44 am

amother Cognac wrote:

I was confused about this as well. I thought only the owners of nursing homes are wealthy.

Some of the younger people with less access to capital work as the Administrator and own a part of the building with others. So you get a salary plus distributions. Thats where the higher numbers probably come from.

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:46 am

amother Zinnia wrote:

And some people are poor because they are irresponsible or lazy. 🙄 this can go both ways

Never said this wasnt the case. I was responding to let rich people do whatever they want with their money cuz they earned it. That's not necessarily true.

amother

Glitter

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:46 am

amother Cognac wrote:

I was confused about this as well. I thought only the owners of nursing homes are wealthy.

They’re not. Property managers aren’t either. But many administrators own other homes or part of their home. My husband is a property manager but he also owns a couple commercial properties

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:47 am

amother Cognac wrote:

And? They can’t ask for advice? This is where middos need to be worked on. That’s not bragging, it’s on you not to feel this way any time you see someone mention something you can’t afford.

Then I recommend Yael set up a forum entitled "rich people's problems" and y'all can post those questions there.

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:49 am

amother Cognac wrote:

And? They can’t ask for advice? This is where middos need to be worked on. That’s not bragging, it’s on you not to feel this way any time you see someone mention something you can’t afford.

By the by, I can afford just about anything mentioned on this site. I personally am frugal and like having lots of money in savings. I also find ostentatious behavior repugnant.

Highstrung

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:50 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

Then I recommend Yael set up a forum entitled "rich people's problems" and y'all can post those questions there.

Then she should also set up a forum “jealous peoples problems”.

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