Not managing | Imamother

amother

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 10:36 am

Had my first one a few weeks ago and still can’t figure out how to manage my time so that the baby is taken care of, I’m taken care of and the house is taken care of.

Any tips? I’m totally not managing my life

amother

Pistachio

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 10:43 am

Mazal tov on your new baby.
Cut yourself some slack and give yourself some time.
It takes awhile until you adjust to the new normal.
Lower your expectations and rethink your priorities.
Get help. Delegate.

LovesHashem

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 10:44 am

Until 3 months the goal should be that you and baby eat and sleep. Nothing else matters.

If you both ate and slept well than that's a good productive day in my book.

amother

Lemonlime

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 10:49 am

You're not supposed to manage. Just take care of yourself and the baby, ignore the mess and everything else for now.
One important thing, sleep when the baby sleeps! I know you must hear this from everyone but it's so important. Don't do house work when they sleep, you'll never catch up on your sleep otherwise

amother

Azure

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 12:03 pm

Agree with everyone about housework etc not being a priority right now, but 2 things that will make life much much easier are bedsharing and baby wearing. Bedsharing helps both you and baby get much more sleep, and baby wearing can free up your hands for a few minutes while keeping baby close and held.

justforfun87

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 12:10 pm

umm you aren't supposed to keep up with the house. That is what a husband or housekeeper is for. Your full time is to snuggle and feed that baby for like at least the first 8-10 weeks.

amother

Electricblue

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 12:23 pm

justforfun87 wrote:

umm you aren't supposed to keep up with the house. That is what a husband or housekeeper is for. Your full time is to snuggle and feed that baby for like at least the first 8-10 weeks.

That's nice that's how it is "supposed to be" but in reality I am not sure how many women have a husband or housekeeper to do everything for them.

I am ALL for lowering standards. Cleaning doesn't happen as often. Meals are from the freezer or pasta or something that is a 5 min prep kind of thing. Laundry gets washed and sits in a basket for a long time. I keep it extremely simple.

And the fact is, I am home all day when I have a baby. My husband is out until late. I have minimal cleaning help. How is everything going to get done?

amother

Ruby

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 12:28 pm

Mazal tov!

For three months please don’t expect to be anywhere near normal in terms of management.
Here are some ideas that I use and that helps me postpartum
-Huge laundry baskets where I just aim to have clean clothes sorted by person
-A baby carrier! I carry my babies around the house. It’s a game changer and let’s me eat and move around in peace.
-A bedtime routine for baby. I bath, close lights, and turn on a noise machine. This helps a lot and they tend to sleep for a few hours right after, and let’s me shower and catch my breath.
-Skin to skin! This is amazing if you can implement. Just let baby lay on you when feeding or napping.

Good luck, you’ve got this!!

amother

Daylily

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 12:40 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

True.

I don’t get upset if stuff doesn’t happen but try to have a routine - I wear only dryer friendly clothing (glorified pajamas) . Throw in a load anytime I get up and the machine is empty like once a day. The harder loads are for the baby cuz I don’t dry their stuff but I try to just do small loads often so it’s never overwhelming.

I buy food that’s easy to make/ eat. I like tradition soups, bagel with spread etc for lunch.

It just gets better with time you get stronger.