Not Managing | Imamother

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:33 pm

My 5 and 6 year old sleep together in a room, and lately bedtime became hell. They play and jump around, come out of bed, do whatever they want. Every few minutes they come to me with complaints about something else from hungry, thirsty, itchy, hot, cold…and the list goes on and on. They don’t end falling asleep before an hour to hour and half after I put them to bed. By the time they’re both sleeping im sweating, exhausted, hoarse from screaming, and in a terrible mood. I live in small apartment, so can’t separate them in diff rooms. Any suggestions, tips, or ideas on how I can handle bedtime better?

busy mommy

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:37 pm

Do you have some sort of bedtime routine? reading a book, shmoozing or just whatever. I would do it in their room with the lights dimmed and them in their beds. This is the winding down time. You can even maybe let them listen to a story/cd afterwards.

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:45 pm

emes86 wrote:

Can u put the 5 yr old in first, wait till hes asleep and then put the 6 yr old in?

I do, but the younger kid not sleeping yet by the time older kid goes to bed. I put them to bed half hour apart.

amother

Violet

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:49 pm

When we had this kind of thing going on I had one kid fall asleep in my bed and then when they were both asleep I or my husband would carry the child back to their room (I suggest doing it with the child that weighs less if possible :-) ).

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:52 pm

amother Violet wrote:

I used to do that and it was much better, but they started complaining that they’re afraid to be alone in a room. I think I’ll have to start enforcing it again bc I can’t continue like this. My whole night gets ruined, then it reflects on to my husband having to deal w his wife being in bad mood Can't Believe It

amother

Violet

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 9:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

Right so mine did that sometimes and I used that as motivation for them to be quiet…if they aren’t quiet in their room they have to go to sleep in different rooms - or to put it positively/m- if they are quiet they get to go to sleep in the same room. They could read all they wanted but they had to be quiet.

amother

Magnolia

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

If they can go to sleep together nicely then they can be in bed at the same time. But if they jump around then they need to be separated. Use it as a motivation.

amother

Butterscotch

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

a mom of 7 kids here. to date, I have never put 2 kids up to sleep together in one room. (the few times I tried didn't work) I always separate them in diff rooms, (transfer them later) bedtime is breeze bh. I do spend a couple minutes with the little ones reading a book talking etc, and some like me to leave the door a bit open so they don't feel alone and can hear talking in the house. I also leaving a lamp on, as well as a book or two from them to look at, as well as a water bottle next to them. it's always a calm, happy time, they don't get scared. not sure if these tips will help with ur kids..but it works with mine.

amother

Darkblue

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:30 pm

Sounds like you need to rethink your bedtime routine. It should be calm and quiet by the time you kiss them goodnight.
My two younger boys are a year apart and shared a room for many years. They went to bed at the same time.
Bedtime consisted of one or two stories, then into bed with the lights out. I sang quiet songs to them--each had their favorites. Then Shema, a kiss goodnight, and I was out of there. They were calm and ready to fall asleep. They talked for a few minutes and then would fall asleep.
But you need to model that calm behavior. If you rush the routine and rush out of their room before they've settled down, they'll probably jump right out of bed as soon as you leave.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:36 pm

I showed my kids on the clock till what time they can talk to each others, and if it's quiet after the designated time, they got a treat in the morning. Bh it worked.
They were also able to read books in bed for 15 minutes.

amother

NeonYellow

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:42 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

Not everyone has calm kids. While some kids will go to bed nicely together, many won’t.
Yes , it would be nice for her to remain calm and her kids are probably getting a kick out of irritating her, but sometimes it is the kids and not the mother. And so, she’s looking for suggestions on how to make bedtime calmer and more efficient in her house.

amother

Darkblue

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 12:02 am

amother NeonYellow wrote:

My kids weren't calm as a rule. The key is to create a calming atmosphere, to wind down the day to a point where they are calm and sleepy. It takes time. Bedtime lasted 30-40 minutes sometimes. But it was worth the effort.

amother

Lightblue

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 12:04 am

Hmm....
Mom of 5 littles here...
If a child is not falling asleep within a half hour of going to sleep consistently it doesnt matter what time it is, its not a good time to go to sleep.
Something needs to change either thr timings, activities during the say etc...