Chanuka money for mesivta rebbeim

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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries

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amother

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:47 pm

Ty all . Any other Lkwd mothers of mesivta boys? I just hope it’s not demeaning in some way to “tip” the mesivta rebbeim. I sent cards with check enclosed, not cash in an envelope but maybe it’s still nisht?? And PS we give very generously because we really do appreciate them. It’s not like we’re rolling in dough.…

amother

Bronze

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:02 pm

amother Mint wrote:

My father mesivta rebbe for 40 years bklyn. He always returns cash gifts any time of year, with a note, but accepts actual gifts or sefarim. Something he took on years ago and never went back on it. My mother would love if he kept the money but respects his position. I think it's very chashuv although I fully understand those who do . Is he the only one?

I have a relative that used to teach preschool and did this. They felt that there’s a small chance it would make a difference in the interactions and didn’t want to take that chance.

amother

Grape

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 6:58 pm

I'm in lakewood. I do show hakaras hatov in the form of money and a note to mesivta Rabbeim

amother

Dustypink

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 7:08 pm

amother Brass wrote:

Unfortunately, tips & gifts for Rabbeim and teachers, have gotten so out of hand in Non OOT communities, it's crazy.

To be fair in town tuition is much less. Especially in NYC chassidish. So even though we live frugally we gave Melamed $500 plus tip. He was so thankful called the next day that he already used it to pay off urgent expense and now could teach with menuchas hanefesh.

amother

Jade

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 9:33 pm

I live in Brooklyn. I don't have anyone in mesivta now, but when my boys were, they claimed no one gave private gifts to rebbe's in HS, just group gift... And since my husband was in kollel til a few years ago, I didn't mind saving the money.
I usually give like $36 to elementary rebbes. I feel bad it's not more

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 9:46 pm

Lakewood Mesivta mother here: we asked around, and we gave $150 along with a nice card. (to reference, we gave elementary cheder rebbi $100)

amother

Cognac

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 9:48 pm

Not in Lakewood but my son's yeshiva made it very clear that we should be giving the rebbeim something. I gave his main rebbi $100 and another rebbi $50.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 9:59 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

It's not about the amount, it's about the appreciation. A nice card, hand-written with $18 is a lot more appreciated than $100 squished into an envelope. Anyone in chinuch is not in it for the money. Appreciation goes a long way.
Signed
A fellow not-so-well-to-do mom

Sorry, is it just me? Wife of Rebbi- would definitely prefer the 100$. No we aren’t in it for the money but we barely manage financially. I’m not saying that we have issues with those that send less.but to see that we are on the level of not wanting to get a tip?

amother

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 10:08 pm

Ok so sounds like I was pretty on target. I gave around 150 for mesivta and 100 for elementary. Thanks all.

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