So worried | Imamother

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Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise

So worried

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Tue, Feb 15 2011, 7:50 pm

I am so worried that I will get pregnant and I so desperately need to lose weight first. I feel like it isn't a good enough reason to call a Rav for a heter-"Hi-I need to lose 50 lbs. Can I have a heter?" I have been struggling with my weight for years now and been pregnant and nursing through much of my weight loss battle. I feel like I am not being given a chance to get fit and healthy before I get pregnant again. Do I sound irrational?

chocolate moose

Wed, Feb 16 2011, 10:23 am

I don't think you're irrational but I'm also not so sure that your priorities are in order.

amother

Wed, Feb 16 2011, 11:11 am

dear Amother,
depending on your health/weight you might be very right for being worried.
there is fat and then there is fat.
this is my life story that I can share with you.
I always stuggled with weight. at each "high" I would cry that I never weighed so much in my entire life...
I was thinking the same thoughts as you are but didnt do anything about it...
"harei shluchim l'makom" there are many messengers to g-d
I went to my general dr for a yearly healthy exam - a fum dr. he told me:( I didnt ask or mention anything...) it's not advisable that you get pregenant now when you are obese. ( I weigh 230lbs)
obesity and pregency is dangerous for mom and baby. you need to talk to your husband and rav about this. If you need any help I am available.
and then he went on to take my blood and finished the exam....

bh my dh asked our rav- he was very easy about it and gave me 6 months.. and now the big question is how do I shed 60 lb??????????

so the issue for you is when u say 50 lbs what numbers are you talking about. 150lb ? 175? 200? or more?

havefaith

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 10:51 am

of course your health and sanity is important.
you need to be happy and comfortable with who you are before being able to take care of someone else. there are many complications that can rather happen in pregnancy and delivery if you are overweight.

havefaith

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 10:53 am

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't think you're irrational but I'm also not so sure that your priorities are in order.

she is talking about fifty pounds here. not five. why are you judging? I think its important to be at a healthy weight.

chocolate moose

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 10:55 am

She has to lose it regardless.

Mirabelle

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 11:03 am

I've had two pregnancies while obese and can certainly understand why someone would want to lose a significant amount of weight before becoming pregnant again. It's really a health issue, I dont know why anyone is saying that her priorities are messed up.

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 11:09 am

OP -- I can so relate to you. I have about 60 lbs to lose. And I also am scared to get pregnant before I lose weight. My weight has caused me lots of issues -- high cholesterol, back and knee pain, and mental health issues. I don't feel good about myself. I don't want to be super skinny, just a nice healthy weight. I want to be able to wear tznius clothes and not look "shlumpy". I want to feel good in my own skin. Also, I'm worried that with the next pregnancy I'll gain even more weight, and then what will I do??? It'll only cause more health problems... I completely understand wanting to get a heter.

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 11:42 am

it is an issue of physical and mental health. both very important.
im there- same place.
I got a heter for BC I calmed down and can now better try to mother the kids I bh have. I am struggling with my weight loss.
and yes I want more kids pls hashem. but for now I need to concentrate on being healthy- physicaly and emotionaly.

moonstone

Thu, Feb 17 2011, 11:58 am

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't think you're irrational but I'm also not so sure that your priorities are in order.

Hmm, she wants to be as healthy as possible before getting pregnant so that she and her baby will have the best chance for an optimum pregnancy, because being obese can cause problems during pregancy...

as opposed to just ignoring what's best medically and going for it, because the most important thing is to get pregnant, and to hell with being careful and minimizing risks.

Yeah, you're right- her priorities are totally messed up.

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