shave or wax for 12yo dd?

grace413

Wed, May 04 2011, 2:14 pm

My 14 year old DD is blissfully unconcerned with this, although she could use some eyebrow shaping (and I am totally not into this stuff). She had a classmate who started in 6th grade, and the truth is that she had terrible eyebrows and it made a wonderful and needed improvement in her appearance.

Yes, childhood has changed and ends much earlier, even here in E"Y. I'm afraid to even know what it's like in NY. However, my sister had very hairy arms and was uncomfortable about it even as a 10 year, back in the olden days.

Tablepoetry

Wed, May 04 2011, 2:23 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Isramom8 wrote:

Totally normal nowadays here for 7th graders to remove hair/shape eyebrows.It's not to look especially attractive - just to look tidy.

Tidy? Hair is not dirt.

True- but then neither is the hair on your head. But there are hairstyles that make the hair on your head look 'tidier', and there are those that make it look unkempt, even if it's clean and washed regularly.

FTR, I'm not a big fan of waxing /shaving at 12, but I have bigger fights to fight. And I totally understand a preteen's (and even a child's) desire to look good. Or at least not to stick out like a sore thumb.

jaysmom

Wed, May 04 2011, 2:26 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Isramom8 wrote:

Totally normal nowadays here for 7th graders to remove hair/shape eyebrows.It's not to look especially attractive - just to look tidy.

Tidy? Hair is not dirt.

Removing hair or not removing hair is very cultural.

farm

Wed, May 04 2011, 4:44 pm

If your daughter is that type that she is hairy and feels the need to shave at 12, she is also probably the type that will really benefit in the long run from waxing. Her hair will get thinner and sparser each time. You will be doing her a huge favor!

LUV2SLEEP

Wed, May 04 2011, 5:28 pm

No you are not crazy! My mother took me to wax starting at 12, when I was in 6th grade! Because I was so young the ladies were so much nicer, and gentler. I have no idea how to shave and have never owned a shaver in my life... It is absolutely worth it, especially in the summer when you dont have to be busy with the hair every day (leg, underarm etc)! Only once or twice a summer!!

amother

Wed, May 04 2011, 5:37 pm

Thank you everybody!! I asked her and she said she wants to try waxing. Now I just have to find someplace. Don't ask where I live please. If I want I'll ask my neighbors, thank you. When and if she asks about under her arm, waxing is very painful there, isn't it? Should she shave there?

1387

Wed, May 04 2011, 7:38 pm

amother wrote:

chanamiriam wrote:

my daughter started shaving her armpits last week at her own request, because she is on a swim team three times a week. I bought her one of those razors with the built in pad of shaving cream. safer and easier than keeping shaving cream around

She didn't mention that yet, but if she does I doubt I would ask her about waxing because it's a lot more painful there, I've heard.

It's actually less painful to wax underarms. If you would tell me bikini is more painful, I would have to agree with you.

bluebird

Wed, May 04 2011, 7:48 pm

I'm in my mid-thirties and shaving armpits and legs was common for girls that age when I was that age. It's not a new thing. We experimented with makeup, too, even if we weren't allowed to wear it out of the house. If more girls are shaving earlier these days it's probably due to girls going through puberty earlier and thus getting hair earlier. I'm not a fan of s-xualizing children but in the US this is a cultural thing that's common among girls that age. I remember how mad I was when my parents wouldn't let me shave and I felt like I really stood out among my peers and was ashamed. I'm sorry if I'm not strong enough to stand up to peer pressure, but I was ostracized anyway so why do more to make myself even weirder?

Anyway...

One thing to think about with waxing: if she likes it are you willing to commit to the expense and hassle of taking her to do it on a constant basis for the next few years?

The main issue with shaving is that girls aren't really good at it when they start, especially if they have no instruction and are using those horrible cheapo disposable razors. I cut up my legs pretty bad the first few times. So if she prefers shaving I'd recommend going with a well-designed razor like the Venus or Sensor Excel.

I switched to the epilator, but I wouldn't recommend that to anyone unless you're willing to accept that the first few times are torture. Smile

bluebird

Wed, May 04 2011, 7:54 pm

amother wrote:

It may be more painful the first few times, but it's over quickly. One vote in favor of waxing underarms: stubble is really uncomfortable there when you shave as the hair doesn't taper off into soft points but is cut in a rough cross-section. If you wax the stubble is much less annoying.

bluebird

Wed, May 04 2011, 10:02 pm

amother wrote:

I shave my underarms, and now have thick stuble, would waxing at this point in my life (around 30) be any help? how long would it take to thin out?

Shaving does not make your hair grow in thicker, in case you were wondering. It can seem so because you're cutting off the top of hair at a blunt angle that makes it appear thicker than a hair with a tapered tip. Waxing can "help" at any age for two reasons: 1) you're removing the hair from the follicle, so when it grows in it will grow in with a tapered, soft edge; and 2) ripping your hair out at the follicle damages the follicle and eventually it won't be able to make hair anymore.

I'm not sure how long it takes for the follicle damage to result in noticeably less hair. Probably a few years.

amother

Thu, May 05 2011, 12:11 am

bluebird wrote:

The main issue with shaving is that girls aren't really good at it when they start, especially if they have no instruction and are using those horrible cheapo disposable razors. I cut up my legs pretty bad the first few times. So if she prefers shaving I'd recommend going with a well-designed razor like the Venus or Sensor Excel.

This. Don't buy cheap razors, they don't do the job well and your dd will be more prone to cutting herself. Also buy some good shaving cream, you can buy men's cream, it's cheaper.

life'sgreat

Thu, May 05 2011, 1:18 pm

amother wrote:

My DD is 14. I think she is probably one of the only ones one her grade that dont shave her legs or armpits. Its wierd that it doesnt bother her- but I see it definitely on her legs.

Should I push her to do it- and if so how?

She is so uncoordinated and I can see shaving to be a bloody disaster.

Personally, I think it's very important for a mother to teach her daughter to groom herself appropriately. That doesn't mean she needs to shave/wax her legs. But if that's how it works in her circles and she's unconcerned because she's oblivious, you might want to talk to her about it and then let her make the decision.

amother

Mon, Oct 03 2011, 2:00 pm

amother wrote:

I think she can use nair. you should help her realize that she need to take care of her appearance and shave. you said yourself that it is weird. I didn't shave until later and I am still upset that my mother didn't make me aware that I should because it didn't look good and it was out of the norm.
just say that you want to show her the product and you yourself used it when you were her age. It is part of teaching her about hygiene.

rachelbg

Mon, Oct 03 2011, 6:57 pm

Remember that waxing is costly, and unless you know that you'll have the means to pay for it (and that she'll eventually make the money to pay for it herself down the line), it will be very expensive. Generally those who start waxing never like to "downgrade," even if they can't afford it. Also, she'd be exposed to so much other 'beauty-grooming' type things there that might intrigue her and lure her in sooner.

If you teach her to shave properly (and yes, of course there will be nicks and scrapes a few times - it's never killed anyone- that's what life is about, trial and error) she will learn to be responsible for it herself, and she won't be dependent on anyone else to keep her legs groomed. Get her a quality shaver (even if it is a quality disposable shaver) and some nice smelling shaving cream as a "welcome to the club" gift.

In my opinion, her own physical hygiene should be her responsibility from the beginning, and not have to be dependent on anyone else. Shaving is the only way that works for a 12 year old.

Good luck!

little_mage

Tue, Oct 04 2011, 7:31 am

When I was ready to shave (around 12, I think), my mom bought me an electric razor that I couldn't cut myself with. After a couple of years, I switched to the disposables, but if you're worried about cutting, maybe try an electric first.