Is this rude? | Imamother

EmesOrNT

Sun, Jan 22 2012, 1:32 pm

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

freidasima wrote:

Why is it worse to eat potential bugs which at least in size are hopefully botel beshishim

Bugs are not botul. You can't be mevatel an issur melechatchila.

Can't OP check her salad for bugs once she gets it? If she asks for dressing on the side, she can certainly give the salad a once-over and look for bugs. Obviously, she can't soak and rinse and check like she would if she were at home, but I wouldn't automatically assume OP was eating bug salad.

You can't give a salad a once over to check for bugs. I'm assuming OP doesn't check at home either, or she wouldn't have ordered the salad. However, that is not OPs question.

If OP is going to a bar with girlfriends, (and not a husband)she is there to hang out. By that reasoning alone, since her girlfriends are "hanging out" with her, I doubt any of them care much about whether or not the food is up to halachic standards.

Raisin

Sun, Jan 22 2012, 1:39 pm

emesornt wrote:

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

freidasima wrote:

Why is it worse to eat potential bugs which at least in size are hopefully botel beshishim

Bugs are not botul. You can't be mevatel an issur melechatchila.

why should people who hang out in bars not care about kashrus????

5*Mom

Sun, Jan 22 2012, 2:09 pm

Squishy wrote:

Back to back boozing is not the typical behavior of women on this site. I am wondering if op belongs here.

This is judgmental, rude and offensive, and completely uncalled for. I tried to report your post only to discover that it has already been reported. Thanks to whoever beat me to it.

EmesOrNT

Sun, Jan 22 2012, 2:15 pm

Raisin wrote:

emesornt wrote:

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

freidasima wrote:

Why is it worse to eat potential bugs which at least in size are hopefully botel beshishim

Bugs are not botul. You can't be mevatel an issur melechatchila.

why should people who hang out in bars not care about kashrus????

That's not what I meant. I meant that if she isn't careful with kashrus outside the home, she isnt careful in her home. By ordering a salad that hasn't been checked and may possibly have come into contact with about a zillion non-kosher items in the kitchen, OP is saying kashrus isn't an issue.

Again, that wasn't the point of of OPs post.

imaima

Sun, Jan 22 2012, 3:54 pm

amother wrote:

Let me start this by saying I don't always eat out kosher in dairy restaurants, just to get that out of the way. I know that it's not considered kosher to eat a salad in a not kosher restaurant because of bugs, utensils, etc. Please don't comment on that because that isn't my question and you won't be providing me with info I don't already know.
Recently, me and a few of my more religious friends went out to a hookah bar and there was a minimum. I didn't want to get an alcohol at the time because I wasn't feeling well and I was really hungry so I got a salad.
They all ordered drinks and hookah and made sure the drinks were kosher.
They never said anything because they are very non-judgmental, but was it rude of me to order a salad that they hold is not kosher while I'm hanging out with them?
If you were the more frum type who did go out for drinks and hooka with her girls, would you be offended if someone did that?
I'm going out again tonight for hookah with another friend who is on their same level but I probably won't order salad because I felt funny after I did it last time. I just don't want to be disrespectful to someone else.
Would you find it disrespectful? Just wondering.
(Please no comments on religious women going out for hookah or drinks. If you must, please start a new thread on that.)

I eat chalav stam and my friends don't. We go to a regular cafe and I drick cappuccino while my friends drink tea or coke, and no, they don't get offended. Everyone has their own cheshbon in shamayim.

imaima

Sun, Jan 22 2012, 4:01 pm

shanie5 wrote:

I don't think I would consider it rude, but I would not ask you to join me again in that kind of situation. I would feel that I am saying it is okay for s/o to eat unacceptable food. To me its "lifnei eever..."

I haven't thought of it from this perspective. MAybe you are right, as if OP asks this question, she actually cares about what her friends think and how the feel. Maybe it is not right for them to be ok about it.

Yocheved84

Sun, Jan 22 2012, 5:25 pm

Religion and observance are personal decisions--you have every right to eat what you want. And since you are in a public place, I don't think they should or would be offended (if they're your friends and non-judgmental people). It's not like they invited you for drinks and hookah **in their home** and you brought over a steak sandwich to a vegetarian's house! Now, that would be chutzpahdik. This is completely different.

As someone else said, the only issue would be sharing the same mouthpiece, correct?

Btw, if you were feeling nauseous the last time, the last thing you needed was tobacco anyway! So good for you for still socializing with others (instead of staying home and feeling awful) and giving yourself nourishment.

Sincerely,
Someone sitting at home with acid reflux who cancelled dinner plans tonight
Smile

33055

Mon, Jan 23 2012, 3:52 am

5*Mom wrote:

Squishy wrote:

Back to back boozing is not the typical behavior of women on this site. I am wondering if op belongs here.

This is judgmental, rude and offensive, and completely uncalled for. I tried to report your post only to discover that it has already been reported. Thanks to whoever beat me to it.

You took my quote out of context. My main concern was that op was not keeping kosher. I asked Yael and she said to be on this site one must keep kosher.

I am not the kosher police. I just thought we had a site where we share certain common values.

Leesah

Mon, Jan 23 2012, 4:07 am

Who decides what is defined as kosher for the op?
Who are you to say that eating a salad is treif and she should not be on this site?
It's not like she ate a cheeseburger ya' know. Sure there ARE halachic issues with it, but not everyone would think that eating a SALAD is so wrong. There are women here from many different sects of frumkeit.
My grandfather would totaly eat a salad in a treif place, it's how he was raised, it's what many frum jews used to do in the 50's. So now he's not frum?

imaima

Mon, Jan 23 2012, 4:13 am

Squishy wrote:

5*Mom wrote:

Squishy wrote:

Back to back boozing is not the typical behavior of women on this site. I am wondering if op belongs here.

This is judgmental, rude and offensive, and completely uncalled for. I tried to report your post only to discover that it has already been reported. Thanks to whoever beat me to it.

On this site one must also keep TH. However, you can find many posts of women who say that they couldn't resist just once, or don't hold all the restrictions, or postponed mikveh night, or miscalculated it. Should they all be removed?

Raisin

Mon, Jan 23 2012, 4:33 am

imaima wrote:

amother wrote:

thats different. You are both eating kosher food, just different standards. I would be very uncomfortable being with someone who ordered something that is very doubtful halachically.