Provokee punished - is this fair?

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 6:46 pm

My 7 year old son was hit by a classmate (who was upset about an incident that happened at recess when a group of boys including DS told him he was out of the game and he thought he shouldn't be.) at the start of class after recess. DS responded by poking him with his pencil. The provoker started crying and the Rebbe sent DS to the principal's office who then reprimanded him. No reprimand or punishment for the provoker.
I understand and agree that DS needs to learn how to respond appropriately, but I believe that it causes deep resentment to a child when he was provoked and only he is punished, while the provoker goes scott-free. I think they should both be reprimanded/punished equally.

Am I off on this?

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 6:50 pm

You worry about being mechanech your own child. Poking someone with a pencil is dangerous, no excuse, and I'd be more concerned with that than whether the school is doing their job.

Seas

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 6:52 pm

You're not off. Unfortunately the way the world works far too many times is that the complainer is listened to and believed more than the defendant.

Sebastian

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 6:56 pm

amother, I would be concerned with both.

Her son was hit by a classmate and the school is going to do nothing b/c her son poked him with a pencil! OP I would call the principal and throw a fit. The provoker must learn that hitting is not okay under any circumstances. Your son must learn that poking someone with a pencil is not okay as well. But he did get a consenquence.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:38 pm

A few years ago a kid in DD's 2nd grade class threatened to bring a gun to school and shoot her the next day. Second grade! DD was terrified, but I was down with the flu, and she "didn't want to bother me."

She had found a rusty old pocket knife while digging in the dirt at a friend's house, and so she slipped it into her backpack, just in case. (The blade was about 2 inches long, and so rusted that it couldn't even be opened.)

Well, the knife fell out of her backpack while she was looking for her homework, and all heck broke loose.

The next thing I know, DD has a 3 day suspension, a black mark on her record for "violent behavior", and is on probation for the rest of the year.

The kicker? The school called her a liar. They asked the other kid if there was a threat, and of course the other kid denied it, so case closed.

(I did tell her that you should never bring a knife to a gun fight. That's just dumb!)

amother

Ginger

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:42 pm

This is life. It'll always happen and there's really nothing you can do to stop it.

Also, I would caution against only believing what your son said. Children often tell untruths to escape punishment and get pity

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:42 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

This story makes my blood boil

Page 1 of 1