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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
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amother
Lilac
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 Mon, Jan 07 2019, 7:41 pm
| amother wrote: | It was the guys in line who let me cut ahead. I didn't ask. I was waved over. This was not happening to other singles.
The same thing happened at clubs. The bouncers walked the lines and let us in first. |
I also felt super hot when the bouncers would wave us in first.... Until I was told that they like to fill the club with as many "approachable" looking women as possible....
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amother
Ecru
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Mon, Jan 07 2019, 7:58 pm
| amother wrote: | | Did he actually say he didn’t find you pretty? |
We'll he said he didn't choose me his parents did and when his friend came he told me not to come out of the car he doesn't want his friend to see me ..... he doesn't compliment the way I look. when I ask him only my face looks good he tells me that I'm due for a waxing. He doesn't look at me in the eyes. Enough hints for me
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amother
Navy
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Mon, Jan 07 2019, 8:15 pm
| amother cerulean wrote: |
I got positions I was not qualified for simply because of my looks and then had people bending over backwards to help me. |
Lol
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ectomorph
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Mon, Jan 07 2019, 8:20 pm
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No matter how beautiful you are it doesn't matter when the teething baby wakes up the 10th time... Or your teenager makes a costly mistake... Or your toddler shatters an heirloom... Or your child tries to play you against each other... And yours and your spouses ability to handle that makes a big difference in your happiness.
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amother
cornflower
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Mon, Jan 07 2019, 9:35 pm
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Anyone else find this thread as awful as I do?? Just the whole thing is ugh. My husband married me as a very pretty girl. I developed a medical condition within the first year of our marriage that turned me into a hideous looking person for some time. He told me I was beautiful every single day, and made me feel like a star even when I was so horrible looking that people would point at me. I married a kind sensitive person- and I try to BE a kind sensitive person, and thats why we B"h have a good marriage.
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amother
Scarlet
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Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:55 pm
| amother wrote: | | We'll he said he didn't choose me his parents did and when his friend came he told me not to come out of the car he doesn't want his friend to see me ..... he doesn't compliment the way I look. when I ask him only my face looks good he tells me that I'm due for a waxing. He doesn't look at me in the eyes. Enough hints for me |
This says a lot more about him than your level of prettiness. Do you want to stay with him?
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amother
Scarlet
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Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:58 pm
| amother wrote: | | Anyone else find this thread as awful as I do?? Just the whole think is ugh. My husband married me as a very pretty girl. I developed a medical condition within the first year of our marriage that turned me into a hideous looking person for some time. He told me I was beautiful every single day, and made me feel like a star even when I was so horrible looking that people would point at me. I married a kind sensitive person- and I try to BE a kind sensitive person, and thats why we B"h have a good marriage. |
Yes, this is the worse thread ever!
Thank you for posting this. I did want to write something like this in the hypothetical. So sorry for your medical problems but very happy to hear that your DH gets it and is a keeper. *hugs*
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amother
Floralwhite
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Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:37 pm
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Not at all. BH I was blessed with beauty, but my husband and I have a very bad relationship.
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amother
Olive
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 4:28 am
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Slightly off topic. But how do you know if you're objectively pretty? I get complements but how do I know if they're being honest? I'm so used to my face in the mirror that I feel like I can't judge myself!
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amother
cornflower
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 4:34 am
| amother wrote: | | Slightly off topic. But how do you know if you're objectively pretty? I get complements but how do I know if they're being honest? I'm so used to my face in the mirror that I feel like I can't judge myself! |
post a pic and we'll be honest.
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amother
Jetblack
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 5:14 am
BEING PRETTY DOES NOT MAKE ONE HAPPY!
One can be very pretty and miserable, and vice versa. Happiness has nothing to do with how pretty or not you are.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 6:16 am
| Librarian wrote: | | When my son started dating I told him that after spending time with her, a pretty girl can get ugly very fast...he ended up BH very happily married to a wonderful young woman who to quote my son, "her personality makes her pretty" |
I hope he also finds her pretty.
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amother
Gold
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 6:23 am
| ectomorph wrote: | | No matter how beautiful you are it doesn't matter when the teething baby wakes up the 10th time... Or your teenager makes a costly mistake... Or your toddler shatters an heirloom... Or your child tries to play you against each other... And yours and your spouses ability to handle that makes a big difference in your happiness. |
What's your point? That beauty doesn't solve every problem? Do you know of any attributes that do solve every issue? Does money solve every problem? Intelligence? Connections? Yichus?
Being attractive is a good thing to be blessed with even though it's not the solution to everything.
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simba
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 6:27 am
| amother wrote: | What's your point? That beauty doesn't solve every problem? Do you know of any attributes that do solve every issue? Does money solve every problem? Intelligence? Connections? Yichus?
Being attractive is a good thing to be blessed with even though it's not the solution to everything. |
Her point is that it doesn’t make for a happier marriage. Which was the question on this thread.
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zaq
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 6:44 am
| amother wrote: | | Slightly off topic. But how do you know if you're objectively pretty? I get complements but how do I know if they're being honest? I'm so used to my face in the mirror that I feel like I can't judge myself! |
There is no such thing as”objectively pretty”. It’s a matter of taste and differs from one culture to the next, even one generation to the next. Symmetrical features, firm unblemished skin and clean healthy hair, clear unbloodshot eyes, a mouth full of reasonably straight and reasonably white teeth usually do it. IOW, the look of health and fertility. Details of color, texture, size, proportions, and so on vary widely. Even the white teeth thing varies...in some cultures a mouth adorned with gold teeth was considered attractive, and the pale, consumptive look comes back every so often.
BTW there is a huge difference between “ currently in fashion” and “attractive to the man in my life” . Many men are turned off by certain looks no matter how stylish they may be. When waif-like Twiggy was all the rage, there were still men who liked the voluptuous look., and there always will be.
But the most important look you should strive for is the look that makes you smile when you see it in the mirror. The look that says “ I am happy being me.”
ETA I say this because your yardstick should be you. If you think you’re pretty, that’s all you need. Many women strive to be what their dh considers pretty. This sounds sensible—for whom should you want to be attractive if not your dh? And certainly if your dh likes you in green and blue you can wear green and blue now and then even if you feel prettier in pink. But if you’re built like Oprah Winfrey while dh is a Kate Moss fan , don’t try to make yourself over. It won’t work and will only make you miserable.
Last edited by zaq on Tue, Jan 08 2019, 8:10 am; edited 1 time in total
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shoshanim999
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 6:49 am
| simba wrote: | | Her point is that it doesn’t make for a happier marriage. Which was the question on this thread. |
I don't think any of the examples she gave have anything to do with having a happier marriage. She said beauty doesn't solve problems with fighting siblings, teething babies, or teenage mistakes. I don't think these are exactly the core issues that define whether a marriage is good or not. As if those that somehow avoid having a teething baby have happier marriages. I understood her point to be that even though someone might be pretty, they shouldn't feel so good because it doesn't solve a million other problems.
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baltomom
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 8:39 am
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That's not how I understood that post. She didn't say not having those problems makes for a better marriage, but the husband and wife's ability to HANDLE those problems make for a more pleasant marriage. I completely agree. As I read this thread I'm thinking: How does a wife being pretty make up for character faults that impact her ability to be a good wife and mother?? Maybe for the first year or couple of years her prettiness makes up for other faults, but over the long term, I think a woman's ability to run a pleasant home (despite the inevitable stressors of life) where her husband and children feel good about themselves and each other has a much bigger impact on her marital happiness than her prettiness does.
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Learning
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 9:18 am
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Pretty people have an advantage to an unpretty:) people. But it doesn’t mean that they have a better life because being pretty is not the only advantage you vcan have in life
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amother
Yellow
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Tue, Jan 08 2019, 9:28 am
| Learning wrote: | | Pretty people have an advantage to an unpretty:) people. But it doesn’t mean that they have a better life because being pretty is not the only advantage you vcan have in life |
I like this. Maybe I am not skinny, but at least I am intelligent. That gives me an advantage.
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