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Weddings are SO AWKARD

 
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 10:40 am
I havent had any weddings in over a year. Im in my high 20s and past the stage of friends getting married. Im 7 months pregnant now and I got invited to 2 weddings that were on the same night and I figured its the right thing to do, ill get dressed (didnt have anything normal to wear but thats a diff story) and ill stop in to each wedding say mazal tov and leave. One was a former employee where I wasnt going to know a single other person at the wedding and one was a family who lived on my parents block, marrying off their youngest son and I am friend with the daughters around my age and my mom is friends with the boys mom.
I came to the 1st wedding and 1st dance and just started. I sat there awkwardly watching until I had an opportunity to tap the mother on the shoulder, I introduced myself and told her to tell ger daughter I came because I didnt want to interrupt the family dancing. The mom said no way and pulled me into the middle. I gave a quick mazal tov but I was cringing at being pulled in in middle of a family moment. At the next wedding I didnt know the bride at all. The boys mom had a huge cirlce of friends are siblings/sibs in law dancing around her. I didnt even want to break into the circle cuz I felt so uncomfortable around the 60 year olds... again I tried getting over myself and between her dancing with 2 people I ran in and said a quick mazal tov and then went on to find the sisters.
I came home feeling so awkward and uncomfortable... I realize that I came at the worst time but kids needed to be put to bed and I wanted to get myself to bed at a normal hour. Couldnt get out at kabalas panim time and couldnt wait till 2nd dance time...
Hope to avoid weddings for a while now
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BatyaEsther




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 10:43 am
I hear your uncomfortableness, but you did perfect. You were misameach the baali simcha.
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stillnewlywed




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 12:48 pm
I find the best time to come (when you are not coming for the chosson or kallah) is between the chuppa and first dance. Usually the family comes back after pictures and they are just walking around. It's a perfect opportunity to say mazel tov.
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shmosmom




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 12:48 pm
I always feel awkward at weddings too, and try to avoid going if it's not a must.
I don't enjoy dancing (not just don't enjoy, I am terrible at it and always end up feeling clumsy and yucky), and sitting/standing by the side feelings like I'm not doing the mitzvah of masameach kallah.
I usually go over by the break or something and say mazel tov, hoping to be masameach just bu the fact that I came, which I think is what counts.
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ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 3:32 pm
If there's ever a chance to get a babysitter at 6:30pm for an hour, it's so much easier to come during the reception before the kabalas panim/chuppa when the kallah is sitting and greeting visitors and family is around her. It's a more relaxed atmosphere and you can be in and out in minutes while still being misameach.

Last edited by ra_mom on Tue, Sep 10 2019, 3:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Red


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 3:38 pm
I had two similar experiences. In both cases I wasn't super close to the kallah but I had enough interaction with her on a daily basis that I wanted to at least say mazel tov. I had to leave a house full of children to go to a different neighborhood. I went early before the chuppa bc I couldn't go out late. It was only close family there and I felt awkward. I just said a quick mazel tov and ran out.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 3:47 pm
When it’s not a close wedding I usually go for the Kabbalas Panim and chuppah. I get to either wish mazal Tov right before the chuppah or right afterward as soon as it’s over and then I leave. Because otherwise there is a lot of waiting around to get to whoever you want to wish mazal Tov to during the dancing and standing around does feel awkward. But you did a mitzvah . A double Mitzvah at that. And that’s what counts.
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amother




Blush


Post  Tue, Sep 17 2019, 10:56 am
Wow so many people are feeling awkward at weddings and my first child just got engaged...
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amother




Indigo


Post  Tue, Sep 17 2019, 11:20 am
I totally hear you. The good news is, I doubt anyone noticed you felt awkward/uncomfortable so its really in your mind!

If you just want to be "yotzei" and say a quick mazel tov to the kallah, the "worst" time to come is end of badekin/chuppa/first dance- ie the middle 3 hours of the wedding. If you want actual face time with the kallah, come by the kabbalas panim (Who cares if only closer friends and family are there!?)- you will get to wish a real mazel tov and maybe get a bracha- OR come by second dance where you can feel comfortable breaking into the circle. Someone else said, if you are coming to say mazel tov to a family member, you can come btwn chuppa and first dance but I think that may be harder to orchestrate. oftentimes they are running around post chuppa and taking pictures with the couple too.
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