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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 9:50 am
In this time of people having to stock up on toilet paper, water and bread and having to be stuck at home, we can use some humor to help us get through this.

Go ahead post all those funny jokes and memes you've seen around about the coronavirus, Ill start:

2 men walk into a bank wearing masks. TOTAL PANIC! CORONAVIRUS! Then one of them says "This is a robbery." Phew! Everyone is calm again.


Disclaimer: This is not to put down the need for Teshuvh, Tefillah or tzedaka. This is just a coping mechanism many of us can use.
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amother




Lavender
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 9:53 am
Don't worry, this virus isn't gonna last long. It's made in China.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 9:55 am
The chatzatzker rebba said: Why will moshiach come riding on a donkey? Because all flights are cancelled!!
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 9:57 am
The virus is achieving what the Rabbi's have been trying to achieve for decades. Smaller weddings, no one is going to hotels for yom tov, no one is going to ballgames, movies, Broadway shows!
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:02 am
A Grocery store owner with 3 daughters is listening to shidduchim . Willing to support with water and tissues.
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tothepoint




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:05 am
“Whoever leaves the universe last, please close the lights”
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:07 am
If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for two weeks, then you should have gone to a doctor long before COVID-19.
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amother




Sienna
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:10 am
When they say ‘close down all schools’ they mean with the kids inside, right?
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:15 am
I know a great joke about Coronavirus; you probably won't get it though.
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:17 am
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:17 am
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:18 am
Coronavirus is a hoax. A ploy concocted by desperate mothers to convince their kids to WASH THEIR HANDS.
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:18 am
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:19 am
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:19 am
Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough.
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amother




Red
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:25 am
To the school Faculty,

At this time the evidence is overwhelming that the covid19 disease is a serious threat and we have no choice but to respond strongly to combat the potential hazard.

When considering how to proceed in light of the unfortunate pandemic of the corona virus which has claimed many lives and is putting countless lives at risk, we the parents have made the very difficult decision to close our doors for the time being and until we are advised that it is safe to reopen. This policy will begin tomorrow morning when our children board their buses for school and will remain in effect minimally until Pesach.

While we understand that this presents a great challenge to the staff of the school, please know that we are and will continue doing everything in our power facilitate the children's return to our home as soon as possible, or at least once all of the Pesach cleaning is done.

In the meantime, we've sent each of the children to school with 14 days worth of clothing. Additionally, we have made accommodations for remote family time via Skype.

As the situation is fluid, we are closely monitoring it and will keep you apprised of any and all changes as they come to our attention.

It is essential that we have your full cooperation to limit exposure to the best of our ability.

Let us all pray that we will remain healthy and safe so that we may stay strong through these trying times.

Sincerely,

The parents
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amother




Ruby
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:41 am
A guy is quarantined in the hospital with a strict dietery order of pizza and pancakes only; it's the only food that fits under the door.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:48 am
You know what should be flying off the shelves right now?

Matzah, in bulk packages.

That stuff takes years to expire, keeps you full, and most important of all, lends itself to the kind of constipation that requires very little toilet paper.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:49 am
Some people aren't shaking hands because of the coronavirus. I'm not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Fri, Mar 13 2020, 10:51 am
!NEWS ALERT!

Women agees 30-59 are most likely to carry coronavirus without symptoms! Best course of action is to quarantine them away from men and children! The local spas and wineries are the designated quarantine centers.

SEND WOMEN IMMEDIATELY!

No contact for 14 days while they live in misery.
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Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Issues of Concern within Frum Society -> Coronavirus/ COVID19 Health Concerns

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