Home

There is hope - UPDATE!
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 3:08 pm
For those who have followed me over the years, you know that I've gone through the wringer with DD. Personality disorder, self harm, depression, anxiety, failing school, etc. She's no longer religious.

I just want to update that she is 17, and B'H she is an amazing person. She's still not religious, but she has the best middos of almost anyone I know. She's kind, involved in charity work, and loyal to her friends. She has no interest in boys, drugs, alcohol, or any other kind of trouble.

She made the Dean's List last semester! She's been working so hard in school lately, trying to catch up on all of the credits she got behind in. At first we thought she was going to have to repeat senior year, but now she's back on track, and by the time she finishes summer school she'll have enough credits to be where she is supposed to be.

She's living in the US, and I'm in Israel, but we video call at least once a week, and text often. Last night we had a nice long text chat, and we discussed world politics, history, literature, and what colleges she wanted to apply to.

It just occurred to me - she's turning into an adult! A sane, functioning adult, with solid plans for her future. I'm so proud of her I could explode. Very Happy

I still daven with all my heart that some day she will come back to yiddishkeit. I know I gave her a solid foundation. Everything else is up to Hashem.

If your 12, 13, 14 year old kids are making you doubt your sanity and driving you around the bend, hang on. Those years are really tough. I honestly didn't think I'd ever see DD doing so well.

IYH you should all see your kids grow up to be healthy, happy adults with a love of Torah and mitzvot.


Last edited by FranticFrummie on Fri, May 28 2021, 11:17 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother




Smokey
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 3:14 pm
Mazeltov, FF - this is beyond awesome and you so deserve it! I think she qualifies as "religious", if only for all the "yiddishe nachas" she's giving you Wink
Back to top

twizzlers1




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 3:40 pm
Thank you for sharing all of those good things! You have been through so much and you are such a good mom so it's so nice to hear that she's in a good place and your relationship is too. Teenag years are definitely tough for everyone.
Back to top

rakcna




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 3:44 pm
I just wanted to let you know that I so admire you as a mom. Your daughter is so lucky to have you. You just made my day!
Back to top

BatyaEsther




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 3:49 pm
So glad that she is doing amazingly!

You should be very proud and deserve a tremendous amount of credit for all your efforts and dedication. It is never easy, but you have a superhuman capacity to put her needs first, before your own preconceived desires and notions, societal norms and community expectations. You really are an outstanding mom!
(Heads up- I'm sending you my teen DDs😉)
Back to top

chayamiriam




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 4:11 pm
Best news of all they do grow up. So happy for you!
Back to top

naturalmom5




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 4:14 pm
Im confused .

She was in the US, then had to return to you in Israel

When did she go back to the US...
Back to top

amother




Coral
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 4:58 pm
I have said your and her names during my davening everyday for the past few years. I'm constantly rooting for your health and happiness and her growth, health and yiddishkeit.

I have a 19 year old dd who also has come such a long way, BH. Never thought I'd survive her teenage years but I'm still standing Smile
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 5:06 pm
Awww, thanks everybody!

One thing that really gives me hope, is when she is learning about WW2, and a kid makes a stupid Nazi joke, she will stop them in their tracks, look them dead in the eye, and say "I'm Jewish."

When my daughter was born, her birth mom wanted an open adoption. I said "Great! She's going to show up on your doorstep when she's 16. You're my backup plan."

Little did we know how right I was. Very Happy

She's now living with her birth mom, step dad, and 10yo half brother. Her birth mom is doing an amazing job keeping her motivated with school work, getting her out of the house to exercise, and eating really healthy home made meals. I am so grateful to have her in our lives!

Birth mom gets to deal with the whiny, cranky teenager, and I get the delightful, happy, chatty young lady.
Back to top

Stars




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 5:08 pm
Wow! That is amazing.
Back to top

amother




Bisque
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 6:08 pm
Continue being the amazing mom you are!
Back to top

zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 06 2020, 6:17 pm
Thanks for the update and good news. I remember how hard it was for you when dd went back to the US for school.

You're going to write a motivational book one day, right?
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Aug 08 2020, 3:52 pm
We were just texting, and I told her "Adopting you is the most important thing I've ever done in my whole life."

She said "No, the most important thing you've done, is be alive. If you weren't alive, you wouldn't be able to serve Hashem. You wouldn't be able to help other people. You wouldn't be here to adopt me in the first place. Mama, you are important."

Surprised

When did she get so wise?
Back to top

Iymnok




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Aug 08 2020, 5:22 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
We were just texting, and I told her "Adopting you is the most important thing I've ever done in my whole life."

She said "No, the most important thing you've done, is be alive. If you weren't alive, you wouldn't be able to serve Hashem. You wouldn't be able to help other people. You wouldn't be here to adopt me in the first place. Mama, you are important."

Surprised

When did she get so wise?

After being raised by you!
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Aug 08 2020, 9:41 pm
What a beautiful post! I love hearing about your sweetheart FranticFrummie! May she always bring you joy and nachas.
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, May 28 2021, 11:14 am
DD was voted prom queen at her senior dance!!! Queen

Prom queen is not so much a beauty or popularity contest, as it is about good middos, being a loyal friend, having an open heart to everyone, and doing acts of kindness. Without good middos, you can be the cool girl, but nobody will even nominate you.

She was really shocked that she won. She's also very modest. I'm so proud of her.

She didn't go with a date, she went with a friends group. The prom king does his own thing, not related to the queen. It's only a title that lasts for a couple of hours, LOL. Something for the year book.

They had the dance in the early afternoon, outdoors. When I was her age the dance was later at night, and in a hotel ballroom.

There wasn't any boy/girl stuff going on. Having the dance in a well lit area tends to take care of that problem. Wink

She showed me pictures of her friends. The girls wore really gorgeous dresses, like you'd see at a wedding (except without sleeves, because it's like 103 degrees over there. The guys wore button down shirts and nice trousers.

Overall, DD said it was very wholesome, no drinking or smoking, no zexy dancing, just a bunch of kids being kids.

https://scontent.ftlv2-1.fna.f.....0EEC4

https://scontent.ftlv2-1.fna.f.....0029C
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, May 28 2021, 11:21 am
At graduation, one of DD's best friends had a panic attack when it came to walking up on stage. This girl has crippling social anxiety.

DD got permission to hold her hands, and she walked backwards, guiding the girl the whole way. She kept saying "Look at me, I'm with you. You are OK. You did it , and you did it early, and I’m very proud of you for continuing to push and do it, and we will finish it together."

I told DD that she is literally the nicest person I know. Very Happy
Back to top

scruffy




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, May 28 2021, 11:28 am
She looks beautiful Frantic Frummie! You should continue to have nachas!
Back to top

BatyaEsther




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, May 28 2021, 11:38 am
She looks beautiful, but more importantly, seems to be an incredible person. You should be so very, very proud of her.
You give wonderful advice on this forum, you exude kindness and wisdom. I know she is adopted, but Hashem did perfect (doesn't he always) when he gave her to you to be her mom. She most certainly takes after you!
Wishing you Nachas and Bracha!
Back to top

zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, May 28 2021, 4:21 pm
At graduation, one of DD's best friends had a panic attack when it came to walking up on stage. This girl has crippling social anxiety.

DD got permission to hold her hands, and she walked backwards, guiding the girl the whole way. She kept saying "Look at me, I'm with you. You are OK. You did it , and you did it early, and I’m very proud of you for continuing to push and do it, and we will finish it together."

[I]

This made me choke up. What an awesome young woman!
Back to top
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 3 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Baby vomits regularly - UPDATE
by amother
30 Sun, Jul 25 2021, 11:53 am View last post
Augmentin and diarrhea. Update
by amother
27 Sun, Jul 18 2021, 9:37 pm View last post
Any hope?
by girl
12 Mon, Jul 12 2021, 7:30 pm View last post
by girl
Would you look for a new job? UPDATE
by amother
18 Fri, Jun 25 2021, 1:31 am View last post
UPDATE!Accountants: salary for Manager w/ 2 years experience
by amother
55 Wed, Jun 23 2021, 12:00 pm View last post