Is this rude? | Imamother

amother

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:36 pm

Is it ok for someone who is a size two to complain about getting so fat over Chanukah in front of someone who is a size 20?

amother

Lightgreen

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:39 pm

Not rude. Some people don't even notice other people's size. I certainly wouldn't take it personally.

amother

Magnolia

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is it ok for someone who is a size two to complain about getting so fat over Chanukah in front of someone who is a size 20?

No, but it would make me roll my eyes and I would find it hard to exhibit mock sympathy so would likely walk away. (I’m a U.S. size 12 so around the middle of this spectrum fwiw).

chanatron1000

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:41 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

Not rude. Some people don't even notice other people's size. I certainly wouldn't take it personally.

It's not okay to say in front of people of any size.

amother

Magnolia

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:42 pm

amother Ballota wrote:

As a size 20 I always say yeah you are so fat you make me look skinny.

Funny! Unless the person has an ED. 🤭

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is it ok for someone who is a size two to complain about getting so fat over Chanukah in front of someone who is a size 20?

I wouldnt think it was rude. I would be worried about the person if they really thought that they were getting fat at that size.

amother

NeonOrange

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:46 pm

She might have said "I'm so fat" but really meant, I can't fit into any of my clothes." In that case, unless you enjoy/have the budget for clothes shopping, the problem is real. When I gain weight, I know I am not fat, but it is not fun to not fit into one's wardrobe.

flowerpower

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:50 pm

It’s very annoying. I have a few family members that constantly do it. The ones that are really struggling with their weight cringe every time

amother

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:56 pm

I feel it’s so insensitive. She knows I struggle with my weight. What does she want me to answer her? My sympathies? Must be so hard, I can’t imagine what you’re going through? Thank god you don’t look like me yet?

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:07 pm

As someone who is a size 20, I feel you. I find it very insensitive. In fact, I slowly broke contact with a close friend over this. She was constantly lamenting her weight gain of 7or so pounds. I told her more than once that I didn't appreciate it. I asked her if we can just make weight a taboo topic. She just couldn't stop talking about it. So I slowly took a few steps back from the relationship because it was causing me pain. I still speak to her but very infrequently, like 2-3 times a year.

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:13 pm

100% rude.

Insensitive.

Unappreciative of what she does have.

I would feel awful if a size 2 - or 6, or 10, or 12 - complained about her weight.

sincerely,

A size 3x who wishes she was a size 14/16

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:15 pm

They're usually in their own head and not even thinking about your size. But if you wanted to say something -how about "If you are fat then what am I"

amother

Mimosa

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:37 pm

My dd does that sometimes. She's not a size zero but sometimes she'll say : "oh I'm so fat!"
I tell heer:"what does that make me???"
But I say it with a smile!
I don't think it's rude, more insensitive and immature!

MrsDash

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is it ok for someone who is a size two to complain about getting so fat over Chanukah in front of someone who is a size 20?

Women clothing sizes are the most unreliable source of information regarding being overweight or not. (I specifically call out the women sizes not the mens because they actually have the measurements of their pants and shirts, unlike womens clothing, which have an arbitrary number based on nothing.)

Perhaps I'm merely out of touch, and the term "size two" has become a euphemism to describe slender women?

Regardless, it's okay to complain at any size, but it's such an uninteresting, leading to nowhere topic of conversation, so why give it or them the time of day? Even the weather is more exciting and productive to talk about.

amother

Yolk

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

You're 100% correct

amother

Lotus

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:44 pm

I'm a size 2. It's incredibly rude to speak about this to someone who is a size 20. We need to be sensitive to those around us.

zaq

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 5:56 pm

Not precisely rude. Merely stupid. Brainless. Thoughtless. Just a teeny bit (or maybe quite a lot)humblebragging, and quite possibly downright nasty, depending on the motivation.