Drowning in debt- anyone else?

amother

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 4:31 am

Just from trying to live a frum life. Nothing fancy. No vacations, no designer clothes, often no clothes period (we try to stretch them as long as possible) we try to live pretty frugally but we are drowning. Anyone else in this boat?

amother

Steelblue

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 4:56 am

Hi! We live pretty simply and frugally too. Also very very deep into debt. May Hashem send yeshuos to all of us.

amother

Hotpink

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 6:31 am

Yup. And we've had to do some pretty expensive house repairs that we needed to take loans for...

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:00 am

Curious what drowning in debt means to you. I also have debt but I don't feel like I'm drowning bh. Am I naive?

notshanarishona

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:15 am

I would imagine drowning means owing a lot of people money, having a lot on the credit card, more than one can afford.

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:17 am

notshanarishona wrote:

I would imagine drowning means owing a lot of people money, having a lot on the credit card, more than one can afford.

And if the debt keeps accumulating? That makes sense. I'm trying to stay calm about ny debt and davening I have the ability to pay it off.

notshanarishona

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:21 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

And if the debt keeps accumulating? That makes sense. I'm trying to stay calm about ny debt and davening I have the ability to pay it off.

So what it means to be drowning is subjective, I would define it as when it overwhelms you and you feel like you will never be able to make your monthly payments or keep borrowing from one place to pay another.

amother

Cadetblue

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:25 am

Debt:
26,000 to relative for helping with house down payment
17,000 student debt
10,000 credit card debt
5,000 behind in tuition

Is this considered drowning?

amother

Petunia

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:44 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

Debt:
26,000 to relative for helping with house down payment
17,000 student debt
10,000 credit card debt
5,000 behind in tuition

Is this considered drowning?

I feel like if you have regular monthly payments to the person you owe money to and for your student debt, & cc, it's fine as long as you are not adding.
The thing from the list that would scare me the most is tuition if you're not fully paying what you owe each month on top of what you owe from the past because that's the only thing that technically each month you owe more of.

Hashem should give you the funds to pay everyone off very soon.

amother

Quince

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:50 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

Debt:
26,000 to relative for helping with house down payment
17,000 student debt
10,000 credit card debt
5,000 behind in tuition

Is this considered drowning?

The first thing to pay off here would be your credit card debt then student loans. The cc will build up interest and that’s how you’ll end up drowning..

I have around 80k in debt on CCs, I definitely feel like I’m drowning but not because of the amount but because it’s on credit cards. No matter what I pay each month it barely makes a dent between all the interest

amother

Cadetblue

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:54 am

amother Quince wrote:

We keep flipping it to 0% apr so we only pay that one time fee every 18 months. No interest. And pay minimum every month

amother

Cadetblue

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:54 am

amother Petunia wrote:

Amen!

amother

Rose

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:56 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

Curious what drowning in debt means to you. I also have debt but I don't feel like I'm drowning bh. Am I naive?

I was thinking the same
I have about 50k in debt and a ton of medical expenses that need to be paid continuously
I don’t feel like I’m drowning though. I feel calm
I’m doing the right thing, this is all from Hashem
Never ever felt like I was drowning or suffocating or even anxious about it

amother

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:56 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

Debt:
26,000 to relative for helping with house down payment
17,000 student debt
10,000 credit card debt
5,000 behind in tuition

Is this considered drowning?

If you feel you're drowning. Noone can tell you that. Depends on your income and the ability you she's to pay it off

amother

Hotpink

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:57 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

Curious what drowning in debt means to you. I also have debt but I don't feel like I'm drowning bh. Am I naive?

More than I can imagine how I'm going to pay off and the number keeps growing

amother

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:58 am

amother Rose wrote:

Thanks makes me feel better. That's been my approach then I read that other thread about the lady with debt and I got nervous. But I trust that Hashem will help me, even if I don't have the means right now

amother

Cadetblue

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 7:58 am

The biggest killer is chipping in for family gifts. There's always a simcha 2-3 times a month Kah between both of our big families. I coudi cut back in food and clothing but got no choice on gifts.

amother

White

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 8:03 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

We keep flipping it to 0% apr so we only pay that one time fee every 18 months. No interest. And pay minimum every month

Can you explain how you always get approved for the full amount you need on the next card? And how you know of many cards with 18 mouth 0 apr? We need to do this and I don't know how to go about it..

amother

Jasmine

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 8:06 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

The biggest killer is chipping in for family gifts. There's always a simcha 2-3 times a month Kah between both of our big families. I coudi cut back in food and clothing but got no choice on gifts.

Makes no sense. Gifts aren’t a necessity. Can’t you just say, I’m sorry I can’t swing it right now.

amother

Scarlet

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 8:07 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

The biggest killer is chipping in for family gifts. There's always a simcha 2-3 times a month Kah between both of our big families. I coudi cut back in food and clothing but got no choice on gifts.

Of course you have a choice on gifts. Either give less or say it doesn't work for you right now.