10yo admitted lying. How would you react?

amother

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 1:58 pm

My 10 year old told me today that she received a sanction at school last year for forgetting her homework.

I asked how come I didn't receive the note to sign, and she told me she had written something in her diary and asked me to sign it, then showed that to the teacher.

How would you react to that? Obviously I'm happy that she was eventually honest with me but I can't condone lying about it at the time and asking for my signature in that way.

She said she forgot the homework because she was unable to write it in her diary due to them being rushed out of the classroom and she thought she'd remember. She also said she should not have received the sanction because the rule is that you don't get a sanction for forgotten homework until the third offence. I know that that is the rule, so something doesn't add up with what she is saying.

This teacher has been unfair in the recent past, punishing the whole class for the behaviour of a small number of children so she might have been overly strict with my DD. On the other hand, maybe my DD had "forgotten" the homework on 2 previous occasions and not told me.

How would you deal with this? She is generally an exceptional student with no behaviour problems and very responsible about doing homework on time with no reminders so this is quite out of character.

nelliesmellie

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 11:32 pm

Give her a big hug, tell her how proud you are that she fessed up, and remind her that you are there to hear about her mistakes so she should never hold that kind of thing in for so long. Tell her you will be disappointed when you hear but will trust her more for it and will never be angry. It is always best to tell right away and take the disappointment as she will feel so much better about it in the end. Read her the Story of Ping

amother

Oleander

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 11:40 pm

Agree with the others.

It doesn’t sound this way at all from your post, but could she have been afraid of your reaction and felt she had to lie? I lied to my mother all the time bec she would have been furious at me about my grades (97 instead of 100). (Yes she was abusive)

Again to me it doesn’t sound this way all bH but just sharing in case it’s helpful