The didnt hit in the olden days either!

amother

Chicory

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 5:06 am

This sounds like a troll post. Unless OP is an ignorant young child who shouldn’t be on here anyway, any idiot knows that corporal punishment is not a new thing and in fact is less acceptable than it used to be. Anything OP has said in this thread is coming across really strange and I smell a troll

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 6:19 am

amother Khaki wrote:

That's actually from Hudibras by Samuel Butler.

It's based on mishlei which basically says one who spares the rod hates his child.

Ihatepotatoes

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 6:25 am

OP needs togo back to sleep

amother

Electricblue

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 12:22 pm

Hitting children used to be good parenting, today it is not. Times have changed.

Let's say the year is 1200 and father is a welder. He's teaching his son to be a welder. Son is daydreaming, so father beats him with a belt. That was the kind thing to do, because father could drop dead from TB next month, and if son didn't learn the trade because he was daydreaming, son could become gravely injured (welding is dangerous, no safety regulations back then), son could starve to death or become basically a slave (no welfare/unemployment), and possibly the child's mother and younger siblings would also starve to death/become basically slaves. Son won't feel unloved when father beats him, because he knows it's for his own good. If father doesn't beat him, it means father doesn't care.

Today if father is helping his son with his homework, and son is daydreaming, well that's a bit annoying, but the stakes are just so, so much lower. If the father beats his son, it's just wildly inappropriate, and will make the son angry and feel unloved.

So go ahead and condemn parents today who hit, but don't condemn the parents of 1000 years ago

ShishKabob

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 2:10 pm

Ihatepotatoes wrote:

OP needs togo back to sleep

Probably a form of population controll lolol..........

amother

Eggshell

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 2:12 pm

amother Khaki wrote:

That's actually from Hudibras by Samuel Butler.

Based on/taken from Mishlei....

miami85

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 2:22 pm

It was much more of a "threat" than actually carried out.

But times were all around harsher.

People didn't regularly eat 3 meals a day--let alone avocado toast.

If fruit wasn't "in season"--you didn't have passion-guava juice.

If you didn't have the money--you didn't get new clothes for yom tov. You had your weekday dress and your shabbos dress, for the whole season.

If you didn't have the money for rent--you were evicted.

If you didn't do your homework--you sat in the corner with a dunce cap and stayed after school to do it.

If kids got sick, many of them died.

So if you misbehaved--you got hit, it was a consequence.

But people also were keen on "consequences"--and you were expected to behave.

It wasn't always about "Sensory" and "impulsive behavior"

amother

Lilac

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 2:24 pm

spare the rod and spoil the child. there are halochas in the torah as to when and how strong. and it doesnt have to mean hitting.
it can just mean dont spoil the child and command from him.

SuperWify

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 2:30 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

My DH is 50 and was hit by his parents and teachers.

My DH is 30 and was hit by his Rebeim..

SuperWify

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 2:32 pm

amother Khaki wrote:

That's actually from Hudibras by Samuel Butler.

Your right. But it was based off Mishlai- “He who spares the rod hates his child.”

Either way my point stands, corporal punishment is an ancient practice.

miami85

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 2:39 pm

I maintain that there is a very limited and appropriate way to "give a potch" that is not damaging and helps keep a child in line.

And if you have to do it more than 5 times, then you are doing it wrong.

I had a child for whom it was the only way, but now he's 11 and I wouldn't do it--but he also doesn't need this type of response anymore. He's much more respectful now than when he was 4-5 years old and we have a great relationship built on trust and he listens to me more than my husband. My other kids IF I gave them a potch--it was a 1-2 time occurrence when ALL other options had been exhausted.

It has to be 1)last resort 2)child is not responding to reduction of privilege/addition of privilege 3)endangering another child/sibling 4)threatening to harm self/damage property 5)"Doesn't care" 6)Child is otherwise out of control. 7)The child is being so disrespectful that they are manipulating the outcome

It is quick and not "ceremonial" (meaning "take out to the woodshed" or "wait until your father gets home"), but in the moment, it's not done with a belt or anything that will leave a lasting mark. It is done in as private as you can assuming you can bring the child somewhere else, but not in a humiliating way.

It is meant to imprint on their memory that "you mean business" but nothing that will emotionally scar them. At most 3 quick potches and that's it.

You follow up within 10-20-30 minutes after you both calm down to debrief as to what happened, why you were angry, what could/should've happened differently and that you love them very much and that the potch was because they were not responding appropriately but that you NEVER WANT to hurt them.

After this episode, all that should happen should be a "threat" that you never WANT to carry out but that the child should know that it COULD happen again if they are really not listening. "Spanking" is NEVER a "regular occurrence" in my house.

amother

Lemonlime

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 4:01 pm

My parents potched me.