seudas hodaah | Imamother

amother

Sun, Aug 19 2007, 11:00 pm

We are b"H making a seudas hodaah for our son's recovery.

I would like to be able to sit and enjoy, rather than being in the kitchen the whole time. Do you think it's okay to set up buffet style?

I was thinking about doing a brunch type thing. I'm wondering how I can get our friends to leave their kids at home, since money is tight. I feel like it's not so nice to ask them to come to something on a Sunday morning which requires them to get a sitter, but I have no idea how to fit 20 adults plus all their assorted kids into my house, and I don't want to pay for 30 kids to eat. Any advice?

Chani

Sun, Aug 19 2007, 11:05 pm

I was at a very lovely one which was buffet style. Also, when we got the call, we were very nicely told that it was "adults only" - which was totally cool to us. I would think about the Sunday morning timing though. At least here, getting a sitter for Sunday morning would be impossible because all of the teenage girls are in school Sunday A.M.. An evening would be much easier.

amother

Sun, Aug 19 2007, 11:25 pm

I'm glad you guys are telling me it's no problem to do a buffet!

That's a good point about the babysitters. I guess I will have to rethink.

I've never been to a seudas hodaah, so I'm finding it hard to plan our own. Would you be willing to describe what the ones you've been to were like? That would help me so much! TIA!

Chani

Sun, Aug 19 2007, 11:45 pm

The one I went to was a Melave Malka. Buffet style. Several people brought dishes, by the way, although the hosts clearly had prepared enough food for an army. Basically everybody shmoozed and ate, and then the host gave a little speech and dvar torah about the reason for the seudah, and then a rav spoke for a few minutes, everybody bentched and that was it! BTW, there weren't tables set up for people to eat at - rather people grabbed a seat wherever they could find one. There were rolls to wash with, though.

amother

Sun, Aug 19 2007, 11:56 pm

Thank you--this was very helpful.

Oh dear--I cannot begin to imagine how they were able to do a maleve malkah. My house is a wreck after Shabbos goes out. But it makes a lot of sense to do it motzei Shabbos, when people don't have a million other things going on.

amother

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 7:28 pm

Nope. I think I'm going to have the men in the dining room, ladies in the living room, with the buffet table between as a sort of "mechitza." Why? Does that seem weird? I've seen that done a lot for kiddushes etc. in people's homes. I'm definitely looking for any suggestions.

What do you guys think of this menu:

fried chicken
fettucine with sundried tomatoes and mushrooms
marinated green beans with pecans
corn and tomato salad
bilkelach
chocolate cake
banana bread

southernbubby

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 7:36 pm

You have a very nice menu. I had a seudas hodaah after my accident, as soon as I was able to walk all the way to shul. Mine was a kiddush in shul and I just paid the regular kiddish fee.

Mimisinger

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 7:41 pm

OP - it sounds delicious...what is bikelach?

Also, re. men and women, you have to do what the norm is in your community. It would be weird in mine to do it separately...

CM - I'm sure OP will do it how she wants it and how she feels her community will feel comfortable. Why did you feel a need to try and teach her your way?

WaitingtoDeliver

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 7:45 pm

Bilkelach are small challah rolls. And I agree with you on two counts, Mimisinger, the menu does sound delicious (wish I was invited!) and each person should do what they and their community are comfortable with (and it's no one else's concern.)

Enjoy your simcha, Amother!

chocolate moose

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 7:45 pm

It was just a question, MimiSinger.....mainly because if she DOES have to keep filling up 2 stations, it's a lot of work.

I think the in-between is very nice. I have also seen that at weddings.

Mimisinger

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 7:53 pm

CM - If I were the OP, I would feel like you were trying to teach me your way. And, if I were the OP and was not doing separate stations, I would perhaps feel bad b/c of how you worded your comment. Perhaps if instead of making short little comments, you elongated them, they would be more clear....

slimnglam

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 2:33 pm

I actually just had my father's seudas hodaah in my house last week. we gave out to everyone a little nishmas (not expensive)which the men said out loud together at the end. it was beautiful.

amother

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 7:40 am

we made a seudas hodaah recently, and I too didn't want little kids, so we made it on a weeknight. we had no room for buffet style, so made it a sit down meal. first course was prepared in advance and on table with challos when everyone walked in. main course was all done in advance, and I had someone in the kitchen helping me plate it all up to bring in, it ran far smoother than I thought!!! and dessert same story. basically we just had the meal and dh spoke (beautifully, although one kid woke up just as he was getting to the bit where he thanked me so I wasn't even in the room...)
best thing I did was have a cleaning lady come abt 1/2 hour after it started and stay to clean up. it worked out cheaper than disposables, and meant I was left with no mess so could relax and enjoy the simcha!
when you start getting stressed, try to focus on what you are celebrating and it will disappear in comparison to that stress!