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DD 11 very messy

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:22 am
DD 11 is very messy. The older she gets the more bothersome it gets since I thought it will get better with age but so far it’s growing along with her.
For example her clothes get dirty every single time she eats. If she wears something light or delicate I make her wear a smock but it’s degrading for this age kid to still need that.
I keep telling her to be more careful, try to eat towards the table so that the plate catches the drips instead of the clothes. She listens to me for that one second but it doesn’t help for the next time around. I don’t want to keep nagging her either. We won’t go into the messiness of her room and school bag but you get the drift.
Besides for it irking me terribly I’m worried that it shouldn’t effect her social life. Older girls don’t like messy kids. How can I help her when she doesn’t have it in her naturally?
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 2:13 am
My dd (10) is the same. She'll walk into the house after hours of playing and her hands are black from dirt and she'll just start eating with her hands. And I was the same as well as a kid. I'm still messy with the house, but I have much better hygiene now. I have no tips, just sympathy and prayers that she'll outgrow it.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 10:04 am
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
My dd (10) is the same. She'll walk into the house after hours of playing and her hands are black from dirt and she'll just start eating with her hands. And I was the same as well as a kid. I'm still messy with the house, but I have much better hygiene now. I have no tips, just sympathy and prayers that she'll outgrow it.

Thanks for the sympathy, it counts for something. Although I’d really love to get some tips for how to help her. Especially that I don’t see it get better on its own and she’s getting older.
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 10:33 am
They say occupational therapy helps, since it's a sensory issue.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:07 pm
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
They say occupational therapy helps, since it's a sensory issue.

I’m going to ask my pediatrician what he thinks of this. I never thought in that direction. She is quite clumsy too so you’re on to something. Thanks!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:10 pm
Does any of this sound like your DD? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.....order

Dyspraxia is a chronic neurological disorder beginning in childhood. It is also known to affect planning of movements and co-ordination as a result of brain messages not being accurately transmitted to the body. Impairments in skilled motor movements per a child's chronological age interfere with activities of daily living.

Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a specialist who can test for dyspraxia. The right therapy can help her a lot.


Last edited by FranticFrummie on Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:11 pm
I was going to ask why is she messy. Does it seem like she really can't be bothered to keep clean? Or does it seem like she has a hard time physically getting things done? Like do her sandwiches fall apart when she eats. Does it hurt for her to write neatly? Does she hate the physical act of doing a lot of basic things?

OT helps with this kind of stuff. But it also helps to just learn some strategies on your own to help her get started.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:18 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Does any of this sound like your DD? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.....order

Dyspraxia is a chronic neurological disorder beginning in childhood. It is also known to affect planning of movements and co-ordination as a result of brain messages not being accurately transmitted to the body. Impairments in skilled motor movements per a child's chronological age interfere with activities of daily living.

Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a specialist who can test for dyspraxia. The right therapy can help her a lot.

This sounds a little extreme. I recognize the issues I’m reading here but they seem much less severe in my daughter so I’m not sure this is it. I’ll bring it up with the dr though. Thanks.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:19 pm
avrahamama wrote:
I was going to ask why is she messy. Does it seem like she really can't be bothered to keep clean? Or does it seem like she has a hard time physically getting things done? Like do her sandwiches fall apart when she eats. Does it hurt for her to write neatly? Does she hate the physical act of doing a lot of basic things?

OT helps with this kind of stuff. But it also helps to just learn some strategies on your own to help her get started.

I think it’s both. She can’t be bothered but even if she tries she’s not being very successful.
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amother




Sienna
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:23 pm
Sounds like an executive functioning issue, often a sub-symptom of adhd, asd, etc. can be addressed behaviorally and therapeutically by an OT, social worker, SLP, and also biomedically by supporting neurotransmitters, addressing nutrient deficiencies, etc.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 1:27 pm
Wow. I’m so glad I asked. I’ll look into OT for her. Thanks for all your replies!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 2:08 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
This sounds a little extreme. I recognize the issues I’m reading here but they seem much less severe in my daughter so I’m not sure this is it. I’ll bring it up with the dr though. Thanks.


She may have this, but a very mild case of it, or maybe it's something else. It doesn't have to be extreme. It doesn't really matter what the label is, as long as your DD gets the therapy she needs.

Honestly, doctors usually HATE it when you walk into their office and have a possible diagnosis already in mind. They want to do the full evaluation and come to their own conclusions. They get pretty cranky if they think you've been consulting Dr. Google before your appointment.

If this really is a neurological or developmental issue, please don't get on her case about the mess. I'm sure that if she could do better, she would. Being self conscious will just make her nervous, and then she'll make even bigger messes. Just praise her when she does well, or when you notice that she's really making an effort.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Jun 28 2020, 2:15 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
She may have this, but a very mild case of it, or maybe it's something else. It doesn't have to be extreme. It doesn't really matter what the label is, as long as your DD gets the therapy she needs.

Honestly, doctors usually HATE it when you walk into their office and have a possible diagnosis already in mind. They want to do the full evaluation and come to their own conclusions. They get pretty cranky if they think you've been consulting Dr. Google before your appointment.

If this really is a neurological or developmental issue, please don't get on her case about the mess. I'm sure that if she could do better, she would. Being self conscious will just make her nervous, and then she'll make even bigger messes. Just praise her when she does well, or when you notice that she's really making an effort.

Right I hate nagging her, as I’ve mentioned. And I’ll definitely look into it. Will try to keep you guys posted maybe it can help others out there. Thanks again.
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