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Is it ok to tell parent?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 6:38 am
My daughter has a classmate who is bothering her in school (takes her pony and throws it across the room and says nasty things). She tries to keep her distance from the other girl but the other girl finds her anyway and bothers her. My daughter doesn't want me to talk to the teacher about it and says teacher sees it happening and doesn't do anything. Other parent is unaware since when I met her she suggested that we do a playdate sometime. How should I handle. This girl bothers my daughter and her friend who hang out together.

(Some details have been slightly changed to protect privacy)
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Simple1




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 6:51 am
I would talk to the teacher without telling your daughter you are doing so. It is not acceptable for the teacher to ignore this behavior. You can even talk to the principal if necessary. Telling the parent is often unhelpful and is an uncomfortable conversation.

Last edited by Simple1 on Mon, May 03 2021, 6:53 am; edited 2 times in total
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salt




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 6:52 am
Are your daughter and her friend mean to the other girl? Maybe she has a side to the story too. Strange that the other girl wants to play with your DD if in school she is bothering her.

Maybe other girl wants to be friends with your DD and her friend, and your DD and friend are shutting her out or not being nice, therefore the girl's mother is trying to initiate a playdate to help her out with this friendship.

Not saying your DD has to be friends with her, but you should find out exactly what is going on. If you decide to call the mother, then ask in a way that you want to find out why this is happening/ what's going on between them/ you want to hear her side, not in a blaming way.


How old are the kids?
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 6:52 am
How old are the girls?

Actually, I find that a playdate is often a great way to resolve a problem like this. It gives the girls a chance to connect in a supervised and safe setting, and in general, people are less likely to attack those they consider to be friends.

And if you see any of this behavior while the girl is around, then you can report to the mom what you've seen firsthand.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 10:24 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My daughter has a classmate who is bothering her in school (takes her pony and throws it across the room and says nasty things). She tries to keep her distance from the other girl but the other girl finds her anyway and bothers her. My daughter doesn't want me to talk to the teacher about it and says teacher sees it happening and doesn't do anything. Other parent is unaware since when I met her she suggested that we do a playdate sometime. How should I handle. This girl bothers my daughter and her friend who hang out together.

(Some details have been slightly changed to protect privacy)


Maybe this is because you changed details, but what you describe is a rather violent physical assault -- approaching your daughter, pulling a rubber band or bow from her hair (I assume that's what you mean by "pony") and throwing it. I can't imagine your DD would just stand there while it happens. I'd demand to know why this level of violence is tolerated. Its not just sticking out her tongue or something. If not the teacher, then the other parents must be told, and the physical attacks need to stop.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 10:25 am
Double post deleted
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Mon, May 03 2021, 10:28 am
I don't know how old they are, and this behavior isn't ok. However, I remember when I was younger and I wanted to be friends with a girl I'd sometimes do stuff that I thought of as silly or playful but looking back I realize that they were probably bothersome.
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