Do I trust her now?

sporty

Tue, Jan 05 2010, 5:36 pm

Oy - I have a cleaning lady and she is AWESOME at maintaining my house. And I really need that since I am 9 months preg and have an almost 11 month old and am so exhausted all the time. I hired her for babysitting on occasion but mainly for cleaning help in the house. And since she cleans I can focus on my dd and that is great for me.
Once I observed her and decided she isnt so competent with child care. Since I am a SAHM it's not that crucial, I happen to love being very very hands on with my dd and am very possessive of her.
However, my cleaning lady has sometimes made me upset because she tells me how to raise dd. Like she says things like:
"I think she is ready to cut out her second nap" But she really isnt. I know so. When she misses her afternoon nap she gets cranky and tired by 5 PM.
"She's ready to give up her bottles" Why does she think that? She takes 4 a day and leaves about an ounce maybe each time.
"Your feeding her lunch now? She just had a bottle" But she is hungry and wants some solids.

When she makes comments I get annoyed but let it go.
Last week my parents cleaning lady came over for a day since they were out of town. She has been with my family for over 15 years. I had to go to my OB and knew I would be gone a few hours so I asked my moms housekeeper to stay in my house and watch my dd for me till a certain time and I paid her to do so. I knew my dd would still be alone with my cleaning lady after she had to go but at least it wasnt for hours, just a short period of time.
Apparently after I left, my cleaning lady said to my moms "you can go now, I wont tell sporty when you left"
Would you trust someone in your house who would have lied to you....
Would you trust this person to watch your child for a few hours (I have another OB appt this week and a wedding Sunday and I have nobody else to watch dd, I really tried).
I also worry that because she thinks my dd doesnt need her second nap or her bottles, she may not follow the schedule I lay out because she thinks she knows better.
I dont know what to do.

imasinger

Tue, Jan 05 2010, 5:49 pm

Trust your instinct. Do you get such a clutch in your stomach at the thought of leaving DD with her for a couple of hours that it makes you uncomfortable? Or is it that if you had a better option (which you say you don't) then you'd take it?

If you really are concerned, then take DD with you to your OB appt (trust me, it's done fairly often), and skip the wedding. If you are uncomfortable but think she'll be OK, then go ahead with your plans, and maybe check in frequently by cellphone.

One thing experience teaches is that nobody is going to care for your children exactly as you do, but since you are her primary caregiver, your way will be what she experiences and remembers.

sporty

Tue, Jan 05 2010, 5:52 pm

Oy I know. I was afraid of that - I feel that way too since I heard she was willing to lie to me and send my moms housekeeper home early after I had asked her to be there. I dont have a nanny cam or anything like that so I have to fully trust this lady with my precious dd who cant even speak yet and tell me how it went after I leave.
The thing about this lady is she is super accommodating. She is willing to come in on a Sunday and be in at 7:30 AM when I need to go to my OB. She doesnt complain and is very reliable. She doesnt only have bad qualities. But I guess for all that - lying is the worst.
I have no idea what to do about Sunday - the wedding. We are only going for the chuppah but we'll be gone a good 3 hours I am sure. When I leave for the OB at 7:30 AM I have my mom coming at 8:30 so it's just for one hour. But Sunday she will be on her own with dd the whole time.

sporty

Tue, Jan 05 2010, 5:59 pm

Not really - my dd is very scheduled and very active. Combine those 2 and she wont stay still at any OB appointment (I have tried and brought her along to quite a few and it was very stressful to keep trying to entertain her while concentrating on what was going on, she was crying to get out of the stroller....it was a whole mess, even with DH along to help with her) and also it threw off her eating and nap time.
The wedding isnt family so I dont want to bring her along. I tried to find another sitter for it but nobody was available.

sporty

Wed, Jan 06 2010, 8:25 am

I slept on this issue and I am still not happy with her. It's hard to have her in my house now that I know she was going behind my back and telling someone to go home when they were there to watch my dd.
Also yesterday she asked the garbage men to take some boxes that we had left outside and they said they would and she told me she said "come on, take it, we have been good to you"....I would never make a comment like that, its not my style. I tipped them at holiday time but I would still never say that. DH thinks our garbage will not start piling up!