I davened but wasnt answered

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amother

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 8:13 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

I once heard, tho don't quote me me because I can't remember who told me, that one own tefillos are the best best bc they are so heartfelt.
Only the person themselves know their own situ.

So no you're not selfish.

This is something I once heard, it is not a bashing thread against going to a for a brocho. Or to a kever.
I do both.

I meant to say that its very nice that hashem took her tefillah to nullify a decree but I want my tefillos for my own yeshuas - if I am being very honest.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 8:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

I meant to say that its very nice that hashem took her tefillah to nullify a decree but I want my tefillos for my own yeshuas - if I am being very honest.

This is one of the things we'll have to wait for next world to find out.

amother

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 8:17 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

This is one of the things we'll have to wait for next world to find out.

I feel guilty being so selfish.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 8:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

I feel guilty being so selfish.

Don't feel guilty.
Yes u daven for things you need, but you're not telling H-shem not to let your tefilla for someone else.
That would be selfish.

You're davening for what you need but one tefilah can go to two people.
You will get what you need, if you're tefillah helps someone else you won't get less.
Daven, and let H-shem decide who's tefillah comes to you and who your tefillos go to.

I'm rambling a bit hope this makes sense.

amother

Blue

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 8:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

I feel guilty being so selfish.

First of all, this isn't selfish. Is it selfish that I only make dinner for my family every night? I only wash my family's laundry? We do most of our work for ourselves and our families, occasionally doing Chessed for strangers. And of course we daven harder for our needs than for other people's. That's not selfish. That's normal healthy living.

Rabbi Aryeh Levin thought his words would provide comfort to the lady, that's why he said them. For her, knowing she was making a difference to others was meaningful. Perhaps for you, something else is meaningful. At the end of the day, your Tefillos bring good to the world that goes to your credit. The zechus is yours.

Obviously, we usually prefer to actually get what we ask for. That's why we asked for it! But when, in Hashem's unfathomable calculations, He doesn't grant us what we requested, the power of the tefillah still works for us. In which way we cannot know for sure. But it definitely is helpful to the davener in some way.

#BestBubby

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 9:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

beware of my outright selfishness.

I want the tefillos for myself.

I am sure your teffilos helped you personally,

Saving you from other tzoros.

synthy

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 10:17 pm

There’s a Yiddish song from Michoel Schnitzler which is extremely validating and comforting to me. To paraphrase, when we ask Hashem for something He answers one of these three:
1 - Yes, you get what you asked for.
2 - Ok, but not yet
3 - No to what you asked, because I have something even better in store!

NechaMom

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 10:27 pm

synthy wrote:

Nice but there is definitely a #4 No because you have to suffer for reasons you don’t know. Not everything ties up in a neat little bow.

synthy

Fri, Dec 01 2023, 12:09 am

NechaMom wrote:

Nice but there is definitely a #4 No because you have to suffer for reasons you don’t know. Not everything ties up in a neat little bow.

So in that case it would still be the better option. Better to suffer in this world than the next.

amother

Fri, Dec 01 2023, 4:03 am

there may be a no.5

no cos it not good for you but will give you something else?

malky12

Fri, Dec 01 2023, 11:45 am

the truth is we don't know what's really good for us, Hashem knows

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