S/O socially awkward:what about you???

amother

Mustard

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:22 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

I went to my friend's wedding. I met her older sister and wished her a big mazel tov. Told her she looks beautiful, I almost didn't recognize her. I meant it as a compliment (she's always pretty) but somehow it came out the wrong way and she commented back something like "that wasn't nice, do you mean I usually don't look good"? I felt so uch. Over the years I've learned to say the right thing..

Someone who I'd see on a daily basis would tell me I look tired. I'm sure she meant it as "oh no, I'm sorry you didn't get any sleep", but I see how someone could get offended at that.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:32 pm

amother Mustard wrote:

A very long time ago, when I was in school, we had a speaker who was a life coach. She was talking about one of her clients without using the name, but mentioned a very specific detail that is unique to that person. I blurted out "I know who that is"!

I was 16. At the time, I didn't realize what I'd said, but now I cringe every time I think about it.

In general though, the filter on my brain is set to extra-heavy duty, so only about 5% comes out from what I actually want to say.

It’s actually good you said that! The speaker should never have spoken about a client! Hopefully your comment made her more careful after.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:37 pm

amother Mustard wrote:

Someone who I'd see on a daily basis would tell me I look tired. I'm sure she meant it as "oh no, I'm sorry you didn't get any sleep", but I see how someone could get offended at that.

Yeah I agree with that. But I didn't think my comment was that bad. It was a compliment. I thought she looked absolutely beautiful.

During my 1st pregnancy my mil would tell me I looked like a "shmatta" every time she saw me! I had my husband tell her this bothers me and she never said it again.

amother

Razzmatazz

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:44 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

I think I’d call it a back-handed compliment. It was a compliment about how she looked now but insulting how she usually looks.

Amelia Bedelia

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:47 pm

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

I think I’d call it a back-handed compliment. It was a compliment about how she looked now but insulting how she usually looks.

That's why I hate when people comment on weight loss. "Are you saying that I was fat before?"

Tao

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:52 pm

Amelia Bedelia wrote:

That's why I hate when people comment on weight loss. "Are you saying that I was fat before?"

Well, as someone who actually is fat, please compliment me on my weight loss!! (It hasn't happened yet sadly. If I'm careful, I stay the same weight. Otherwise, the numbers on the scale just keep right on climbing.) But if please Hashem I one day do actually lose some weight, I'm happy to accept all the "You lost so much weight!" compliments, because it was probably very hard work!!
(Nothing wrong with acknowledging that I am or was fat. People can see, baruch Hashem, so let's not kid ourselves LOL

)

Amelia Bedelia

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:58 pm

Tao wrote:

)

Yes, but no need to rub it in...
That reminds me: I was at the very beginning of a pregnancy and went to a maternity store to get some tops because I was going away for the summer.
Saleslady who was helping me: when are you due?
Me: in a L-O-N-G time
Saleslady: You know you're very big...
Me: Thank you for rubbing it in! Lol

Tao

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 8:03 pm

Amelia Bedelia wrote:

So far this pregnancy I have had at least 3 people question if I'm sure it isn't twins/there's only one? (Yes, thanks, I'm sure. Unless the second baby is doing the most marvellous job of hiding through all 3 scans, including the 20 week one....)
Plus lots of surprised faces or "Really?"s when I say I'm not due for a good while still....

amother

Papaya

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 8:14 pm

Years ago, I was showing someone around a long term care facility. Then I made the mistake of offering a chair with arms. She was too big to fit.

GLUE

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 9:28 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

At a recent visit to my mil, she very kindly gave my son a new toy. Looking for a conversation starter, I decided to discuss a new discount store that opened in her area recently. I asked her: did you buy this toy at x? And she immediately flushed.

Why would that be embarrassing to ask her that?

amother

Mint

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:37 pm

In my teen years It has happened a good many times.
Its more that I meant one thing and it just came out so wrong and then many times I'd try to correct it and mess up even more
I'm in my 30s now and have gotten so much more aware and am so much more careful. It rarely happens anymore BH

The worst that I recall was when I was in 12th grade and during class, one of the teachers was discussing seminary. I blurted out that it makes no sense for girls to go to sem's in nearby town and dorm vs just going to EY because it cost almost the same amount. I Literally don't know what I was thinking. It came out all wrong and the entire class was silent for a moment. It was so bad. Its so many years later and I randomly still think about it and cringe.