Have any of your Tefilos been answered?

amother

Navy

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 6:16 am

Just as a side note , a teacher once said a very true point,
We don't need to know why and for what hashem is doing what he does. If well ask too many questions he'll say come up here I'll show you...
We don't want to be called up there earlier than 120 , just so we can understand that everything happened for a reason...
(Hope I repeated that right)

yo'ma

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 6:31 am

To me, the question is nonesense. A child might say, my mom is so mean because she doesn't let me do... no matter how much I begged. The mother said no because she knows it's not good for her. I don't mean to be insensitive to people who have a hard life. B'h in comparison to others, my life isn't so bad, but it's all a matter of bitachon.

I don't ask much for myself , but for my children, I ask that they should get everything they NEED.

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 7:48 am

amother wrote:

when does acceptance slide into giving up on using the full strength of tefillah? Does the balance shift as we get older?

Yes, this expresses alot of how I feel. Thank you for putting it into words for me.

happybeingamom

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 7:53 am

amother wrote:

How could she say this, does she thinks this is how Hashem works?

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 8:14 am

happybeingamom wrote:

How could she say this, does she thinks this is how Hashem works?

I've heard this idea too but I wouldn't have phrased it quite like this.

I remember the Sunday after Shabbos of the Sassoon tragedy, talking to my devastated teens (and feeling horrible myself). We talked about this world being hidden, we don't get to know the reasons why.....this world is like the underside of a tapestry where we see the knots and faults. In Olam Habah the pretty side of the tapestry is revealed, and it all falls into place.

None of us want to volunteer to go up to the World of Truth just to get the answers...so we have to accept, here, that we won't know and we won't understand. That is Emunah.

I wouldn't say that Hashem would punish us by taking us to see the answers if we ask too many questions.

I would say that if we have questions, we have to accept on faith that there IS a reason, there IS sense, but we just don't have the whole picture until 120.

happybeingamom

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 8:53 am

Chayalle wrote:

Well that is what this teacher said.

I agree Emunah is the acceptance of what you don't understand or question, that is an important hashkafa to teach and know but to say what the teacher said that in my opinion is awful.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 9:42 am

My son was born in the 26th week. At a certain point he weighed a pound and a bit. His intestines stopped working cuz everything was so small and the blood couldn't flow through. The doctor told us that with his many other issues it was the worst way to have to do surgery. They had to remove much of his intestines. He was too sick to moved to the operating room and they did the surgery in his incubator. After surgery, his body shut down. For hours we davened and waited. And at a certain point I said Ribbono shel Olam it is very hard for me to live in Eretz Yisroel (so far away from my family), in the zechus of the mekomos hakedoshim and the tzadikim burried here, please help my baby live. And he did. He is now nine and the doctor still call him a medical miracle. He has many issues - he is quite sick, quite mentally [crazy] and handicapped - but I daven to Hashem to please give me the gezunt and koach to take care of him. I also davened a ton for my daughter to find her bashert. I call my son in law Nissim because I truly believe that Hashem collected all of our tefillos and segulos and handed them to us in this amazing son in law.

Emotional

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 12:43 pm

workaholicmama wrote:

We keep on telling the kids that if we didn't get what we Davened for, we should consider that Hashem said no to this particular request!

But at what point do we accept that it's a "no" and stop asking? Or are we supposed to keep davening for years and years?

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 12:46 pm

Emotional wrote:

But at what point do we accept that it's a "no" and stop asking? Or are we supposed to keep davening for years and years?

Yes we continue to daven and daven.

My DD (now almost 14) was 7 when she became a big sister. She davened alot for a baby, and she used to ask me if she should continue. I said yes! Her tefillos surely joined mine and we were answered.

We never know when the cup will be full, what prayer will be the one to tip the scale.

I heard once that Tefillah creates a new reality, that's why it is so powerful it can change the Din on a person.

PinkFridge

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 1:27 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Well, I've heard that you aren't supposed to daven for a particular Shidduch (or you may get what you asked for and regret it). You are rather supposed to daven that you get the Shidduch that is best for you.

In terms of Tefillos being answered, yes. I davened very, very much for a 3rd child, and I was answered (and she is worth every one of those tears).

I sometimes wonder if I haven't had a 4th because I haven't davened hard enough. That makes me feel bad. I admit I don't have the same intensity now, not for lack of wanting it. It's just hard to get there. Not sure why. Tefillah is a real Avodah, not easy.

And this is for beigeamother too:
We have our ups and downs. It's normal. Sometimes all we can do - and this is pretty big - is to start davening with a message to Hashem that I don't know if I can have the kavana I need to but I know that the words of tefilla are powerful in and of themselves. Please let them go where they're supposed to, and let it be for the obvious best.
We can't beat ourselves up like this. Perhaps the yetzer hara is blunting our ratzon and kavana, but surely it's the yetzer hara that tortures us and brings us down even more.

PinkFridge

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 1:29 pm

amother wrote:

I should have spent more time davening that this vacation help our marriage in a lasting way, and let Hashem worry about whether or not getting my period was going to make a big difference.

This may sound a lot like my post just before this but don't beat yourself up. Why were you davening for your period to be delayed? Because you thought it would help your marriage. Same difference. Hugs and keep davening, you need the Connection however this will play out.

shoshanim999

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 6:01 pm

It sounds like the game is rigged. If we get what we want then hashem answered us. If we don't get what we want the hashem still heard us but answered no. I dont mean to sound like an apikores, but that sounds like brainwashing to me. I believe that as a human being I don't have the slightest understanding of what hashem is. There is no way I can begin to understand how hashem works or why he does or doesn't do certain things. No one would argue that the people that are davening more and doing more mitzvos are not necessarily the one's that have shidduchim, health, parnasah ect. Just looking at the reponses on this thread, yes, no, yes, no....are the people getting the yes davening more than the people getting the no? I'm trying to understand.

GoodnDear

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 6:04 pm

I don't get what you people are talking about?? Fcurse everyone's tfillos get answered...maybe not all of them right away, or the way we wanted to...but they sure do!!!
Just the other day I lost my diamond earring, asked Hashem to find it in my own language n sure enough I did!
I had a wedding two days ago n had no way to get there, again I prayed it works out...last minute DH gets a phone call from a friend..we had car ride AND a babysitter!
I had to leave my house and I had no cash with me whatsoever, I asked Hashem to help me, there was no way I could wait till DH comes home. I walk out the door, met my neighbor with money she owes from long time ago, I had already forgotten!

I could go on and on...and I am sure u all could!!! Why shouldn't we take those lil things and be greatfull for them!!! Tell Hashem we appreciate EVERYTHING he does for us! No matter how big or small it is!!! Hashem loves to hear us thank Him, and if we do for small things He sure will want to hear us thank for BIG things!!!!!
G'luck!!

zaq

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 6:37 pm

amother wrote:

I feel awful saying this but I dont even have time to daven Sad

Davening doesn't have to be a big formal deal out of a siddur. When you ask G-d for anything from a seat on the bus to world peace in your lifetime, that's your prayer. You could do this immediately upon awakening "Dear G-d, thank You for letting me live another day, please let me live it as a good person, and also if You don't mind, the price of eggs is insane, can You please show me where they can be had for less?" or while waiting for the elevator "Dear G-d, this elevator is taking forever, but Mashiach is taking longer still, can You please bring both speedily in our day?"

Hey, He's G-d--no job too big, no job too small.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 6:38 pm

zaq wrote:

I do this all the time. Very often when I need a larking spot. I always get one!

shanie5

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 8:14 pm

A man is late for an important appt, but can't find a parking spot. He prays to g-d saying "g-d, if you just let me find a spot, I promise to go to church every week, stop cheating on my wife and be honest in all my business dealings".
Suddenly, a car pulls out of a spot right in front of him and as the man is parking his car he says "never mind, g-d, I found a spot".

We can choose to see when our prayers are answered or we can choose to think it's a random coincidence.